1 Week

sandwich. And fingers I am pretty sure are not my own.

My first week of school has come and gone. I can't believe it. After an ant and cicada infestation of my classroom and several exhausted afternoons I would say all's well that ends well. I have the kindest class I have ever had. I am not kidding, they are all sweethearts. Even the wiggly one. 

I do a lot of observing at work. There are a lot of different people to watch. I have car line duty in the morning and I would be lying if I didn't say I am a teeny tiny bit envious of the Mom's in workout gear and even some of them still in pajama's. They get to kiss their kids goodbye as they get out of the car to go to school. They have all day, ALL DAY to get things done. On the flip side my job is so personally fulfilling. I have received a pile of letters telling me how wonderful I am from 20 or so lovely little children. They make me posters, and write letters, and draw pictures. One of my students last year bought me a bag of M&M's and came for a little visit during lunch. Little rays of sunshine. I receive so much love, I am so grateful. Plus, I get to plan and execute lessons. I love that. 

This little girl. As you can see here she got herself dressed one morning and yes, that is a long sleeved shirt she has on as pants. She wasn't quite two. I was getting ready for school this morning and in walked Ellie with her pajama's and my Giant Pink BOXING gloves on both hands. I did her hair while she wore the gloves and then told her to go get dressed. When she came downstairs she was wearing leggings, a skirt, a short sleeved shirt and HER GIANT FAKE FUR LINED COAT. I said, I think you might be really hot with that on. Don't you think? No, she replied I am cold. I dropped her off at her Dad's like that.

Not much has changed. 

She insisted on wearing the coat home in the 100+ degree heat. I saw her in the rear view mirror and said aren't you hot? Her cheeks were flushed bright pink. Yes, she nodded. What would you like to do? I asked and then she began to shed that giant coat of hers. We then ran to Wal-Mart as I had to stop by the bank. I told the kids if they were good we could get a movie from Red Box. As I stood at the teller window I heard this crackle, crackle. I looked down to see a thousand miniature Styrofoam balls all over the floor. I asked, Ellie what is that? She said, Styrofoam I found it on the floor. To which I huffed, AND YOU DECIDED TO BREAK IT UP INTO A GAZILLION LITTLE PIECES?  She put her chin to her chest and pouted. 

I was so tired at this point, it had been a long and tiring first week back at school. I was sorting through some emotional baggage throughout the week. I had already worked a full day, gone to a Dr. Appt. for my leg in Chandler, picked up the kids, grabbed dinner and now we were trying to squeeze in some errands. The glamorous life of a single mother. On the way out we stopped to get a movie as the movie came out Ellie somehow got her finger stuck in the tiny slot the movie comes out and began screaming her head off, the movie going back and forth and back and forth. I pulled out her finger grabbed the movie and lectured her on the way out the door while she cried. 

Aydan, sweet little Aydan silently stood by obediently doing whatever I asked. 

The one good thing about Ellie and her "idea's" and the little things she does that usually get her in trouble are she does them because she is so curious and imaginative. I hope I am not squelching that. 

 We got in the car. I slumped into my seat and hot, tired, silent tears streamed down my face. There was nothing left to do. I had held it in all week. I was tired, so I cried and Ellie WAILED and Aydan said, "Mom, I feel like something is really wrong." 

I said, nothings wrong honey. I am just tired. 

I am not really sure who this boy looks like? That is me in 4th grade, isn't that a great perm? This poor guy even has my TEETH. Braces here we come. 

I am glad tomorrow is Saturday. We are going school supply shopping, shoe shopping and a movie and probably lunch. My kids need a Mom who is present and I am looking forward to spending an afternoon with them.

On the upside, the seven pounds I was mad about have vanished along with my varicose vein. silver linings. Tomorrow is going to be the best day ever. I am sure of it. 

Life is hard. That's ok. 

XOXO-The Sunny D