Parent Teacher Conferences....The Truth

School pictures FOREVAHHHHHHH........

I graduated a sunshiny, energetic teacher in 1999.  I am still a sunshiny, energetic teacher. There is however one day or two in a teachers life that can create a little bit of anxiety. It is parent teacher conferences. 

Let me tell you what that day is like. 

You clean like crazy to get that room ready, you make sure there is some cute art projecty school work hanging on the bulliten board. You spend hours organizing portfolios for each student. At the school I attend we get one half day to fit in all 25 conferences. Hello twelve and a half hour work day.That is a tight schedule of 10-15 minutes for each parent and if you don't keep it you can KISS your potty break goodbye. Which usually happens because I am a talker AND things happen so parents are sometimes late. Parent Teacher conferences are very interesting it is a great lesson in social sciences. I love meeting with parents now. I look forward to it! I have also learned a lot MORE as a parent going to conferences. I get to see both sides of the spectrum and BOY OH BOY is it interesting! Here is what you can do and expect at your next parent teacher conference. 

One Teachers Perspective...Dear Parents,

1) Know that the teacher has had a LONG day, is probably hungry, needs to use the restroom, thirsty and tired. It never hurts to bring a treat or drink to your child's teacher on this day. A big, cold diet coke would be the best thing ever. I am not kidding. This will make him/her SO happy. I always come to my children's conferences with a treat in hand. I know what a long day it is for them and I want them to know that I appreciate them so much. 

2) Know that this person who spends every day with your child actually loves them. What they have to say isn't a personal attack. They want your child to succeed in life. Please don't take goals we teachers make for your child personally. I mean, if your child's desk sits next to the teachers there may need to be some goals set. It is OK. (My child had a desk by the teacher once. I wanted to cry but I just knew this was information for me that I needed to take home and work on some things with my child.) 

3) Know that most teachers will do what we like to call, "the sandwich". She will start out with something positive to say.  She will show some really great work samples and then slowly tip toe into things to work on..or goals for the next semester. Then end the whole thing with several positive things about your child. 

4) Know that this man or woman works really hard with your child everyday. Every single day. Please treat us with kindness and respect. It hurts our feelings when we are attacked, or all the goals we have set are looked at as "our problem". We want nothing more than to be a partner with you in helping these little people become AWESOME big people. Let's work together! It is hurtful when there is an attitude of "you work for me, I pay taxes". Remember, we are people too and we just want to be helpers in guiding children to a happy future. No one likes to feel like they are "owned" by anyone. We are teachers because we love children, we want to build the future into a better place, and probably because we love summers off. (I won't lie...it is a needed perk, and a good one!)

One Parent's Perspective...Dear Teacher,

I just want you to know that a lot of my parent teacher conferences for my children have been humdingers. I have learned SO much that has helped me become a better teacher by having my own children. Seriously, ENOUGH WITH THE BOOK REPORTS! Right?!?!? I have precocious children, they are much like....their mother. However, it has given me such a great perspective about conferences now! I love it. 

1) Know that I have rushed from my job to get to this parent teacher conference on time. I am frazzled. I'm also nervous because trust me, I live with these children at home so...I PRETTY MUCH know  what they are like. I am nervous to hear what the teacher has to say. 

2) When I see my child's desk by your desk or facing the back wall. I want to cry a little and it brings up terrible memories of first grade and having to sit in "wonder land" with the little boy who also had to  sit in a refrigerator box over him because he annoyed the teacher so much. You know EXACTLY why your child is sitting in that spot. He or she is just like you. (It is OK though because eventually you turned into an awesome adult....will the teacher see that? ) 

3) You are relieved to find out your child has some sunshiny qualities. You kind of gush at their adorable work and are super proud that these little people belong to you. Oh how you love them so...and these amazing teachers that work with them everyday. 

4) You realize maybe you are failing your child because you rush home to make dinner or do all the millions of things you need to do at home. The teacher says, "Your child is really struggling." Yikes. This feels like a reflection on you as a parent. You internalize it, you worry, you make a plan to do better...and then, you do better. 

5) You just hope that the teacher realizes you are a person, doing your best and you want to work with them to help your child be successful. 

And so you see, we sort of have the same goals. Let's be kind to each other, work together and build the future. These kids are amazing. Trust me I have two at my house and twenty-five at school. That next parent teacher conference is going to be a breeze. Just remember, it is just information. Information to become more sunshiny. 

Let the conferences begin! XOXO The Sunny D