Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and Me.

This is a polycystic ovary. The dark circles are cysts, this is what my ovaries look like. They call this "the string of pearls."

It took almost four years to get a diagnosis. It was 1999 and I had gained thirty pounds in a month. My OB-GYN acted like I was crazy, I knew that I wasn't. He tested me for thyroid issues, when I didn't have any he didn't have any explanations except..go on a diet. I had a brave face on the outside as I smiled and nodded but on the inside my heart was breaking.  I heard it all, calories in/calories out determine weight. I dieted, to no avail. I worked out and nothing helped. My skin broke out worse than a teenager experiencing puberty. I had periods that would last 30 days or more and then I wouldn't have one for months at a time. My ovaries ached and I had headaches. It was awful, people didn't understand.   I was judged, and I was critical of myself. I hired a trainer, and my weight skyrocketed to 198 pounds. I didn't know what to do, I felt ugly, I was depressed and I was exhausted ALL of the time. I had a very painful miscarriage followed by more hormonal shifts. What was happening to me?

2002, I was serving on the Relief Society Presidency in my ward. I was in charge of "Enrichment Night." I had a friend who was an OB that agreed to come and give the women of our ward a lesson on  Women's Health Issues. I remember I was busy setting up, and she had a basket that she passed around for us to put some questions in. If she had time at the end of the class she would answer them. I scribbled some of my symptoms down and forgot about it. 

My symptoms were: Acne, weight gain, irregular periods, and WEIRD mood swings mostly ranging form exhaustion to depression and inability to lose weight and infertility. I had wanted a family badly but couldn't get pregnant after we had been trying for about a year. There was pressure mounting from others, why aren't you guys having kids people would ask. There was pressure from his family to make them some grand babies every time we went over there. I knew they didn't mean anything by it, but I can't tell you how it made me feel. I didn't know what to say because I felt helpless. However, I did just get to the point when people would ask me at church why we hadn't had babies yet I would just say; I am infertile. The truth will set you free. :) I am sure I made a few people feel uncomfortable but oh well..mind your business!! 

At the end of the Enrichment meeting, my OB friend pulled a question out of the basket. It was mine. She read my symptoms aloud and said, "Well this sounds like PCOS." Whoever this is come and see me at the end. It was an answer to my prayers, I felt a wave of peace. 

It was the beginning of a long road of learning what I needed to do to keep my body functioning correctly, there was a lot of trial and error. There were medications that had nasty side effects, and then years of infertility that did not help in my efforts to lose weight. BUT.

Through trial and error, and finding the right doctors I was able to finally control the PCOS beast. I had two beautiful, cherished babies. 

Why am I writing this today you ask. Well as I look in the mirror my skin is broken out, I look like a fifteen year old. I have not had the insurance needed to buy the medication that regulates my body the best. I feel annoyed by the acne because I am 35 for heavens sakes!! This, is the first sign that tells me my hormones are acting up and PCOS is in full swing. Some symptoms of PCOS are thinning hair, infertility, mood swings, depression, facial hair/bodily hair in places it should not be, acne, weight gain, inability to lose weight. Gosh, luckily my hair was thick and I didn't have any growing in extra places!

In 2006 I finally found a doctor that understood PCOS and was in GILBERT. I had previously had to travel to Phoenix which was SUCH a pain! Luckily, with his help we found that a simple medicine could regulate my PCOS with some other healthy changes! All I needed was birth control! I could not believe it, within the first month of being on birth control I lost seven pounds, my skin cleared up and I wasn't moody. I finally began to feel like myself! It was a wonderful miracle. I marvel at modern medicine! As I continued to research I learned about the kind of diet that would be best for my body. I also learned that exercise was KEY to keeping this disease in check. 

Today eating healthful meals and exercise are not an option for me, they are what keep me healthy. I will probably never be a size 2 because I fight this battle but my body works. I am so grateful to know that after my appointment tomorrow I will have the prescription I need. I can't believe after all of those years the fix is so easy! I am also grateful for this trial because it is over, it is manageable! I have had other trails in my life but looking back at this one I learned that they all will eventually come to an end. I have learned that Heavenly Father loves me, life isn't perfect but he will help me with the things that I need to be happy to live his plan for me. Isn't that awesome? Plus, modern medicine is such a miracle it is like magic. PCOS is a inherited disease, I think of my poor female ancestors that suffered through this painful, emotional fight without the aide of modern medicine. How lucky am I? I just feel so blessed.