My Brutiful Life

 We went to see the Croods today, it was the Premier. Thank you to my sister Morgan who has an AWESOME podcast called the Rotoscopters. You should check her podcast out if you are an animation lover. I love it when she lets us tag along to the movie premiers. I have the best sister ever. It was SO SO SO Funny! What a witty and well crafted story. I laughed through most of it, and I even got teary and cried for a second there. I think Belt was by far my favorite character of all. The story hit home for me, it was about change. Changes are hard, they always have been for me. The Croods had their happy ending, I am still waiting for mine I guess. There are a lot of things I would love to complain about, let's pretend I insert them *here*


We planted a garden today. We also weeded the postage stamp sized side yard. I love having a little yard as a single Mom. It allows a manageable amount of yard work and a quiet place to sit and relax. I love flowers. We planted a variety of practical things like GIANT SIZED PUMPKINS. I know. But you know, I feel like I have to say no to so many things that sometimes when your kids bring you the biggest pumpkin seed packet that only has 4..YES 4 seeds in it you just have to say yes. Is it that big of a deal? Plus it is worth it to see the excitement in their little eyes. Try that sometime, it is a little trick that works wonders instead of saying no...say yes.

 

 Ellie got a hold of my phone...I still have dirt under my nails and embedded into the prints in my fingers.

Ellie picking weeds, I taught her to get them at the ROOT then she noticed some white milky stuff that oozed out of the ends and she came over to show me. She said, "MOM! These weeds look like pimples." I had to take a picture, this girl keeps me on my TOES!


OH. My heart breaks, my babies are not babies they are actually kids. Big, SMART, fun kids. We cleaned house, went to the movie, Home Depot ( see all of our supplies), picked weeds, cleaned and Beautified the side yard, lounged a bit, met my friend and her kids for swimming and a poolside dinner, it was fun to catch up and air out our woes and celebrate our celebrations, then we ran to Basha's for groceries because SATURDAY is a special day its the day we get ready for SUNDAY, we came home and watched our favorite TV show Once Upon A Time together, and then I tucked everyone into bed and did back tickles, checked the emotion thermometer of both of them. They were content and so am I.

Back to changes. There have been a lot of changes in the last few years. I sat with a member of the Stake Presidency to renew my recommend a few Sundays ago. This man knew me well, and was my kind Bishop as I struggled through the final years in my marriage. He said to me, "You know Dior, you are one that I KNOW did EVERYTHING she could do to make it (the marriage) work. You did all you could do." It was a blessing for me to hear this. I wish things were different. I am sure anyone in my shoes would. The prospect of being single in my 30's was scary, being a single Mom and carrying the weight of being the Father and Mother in a family was scary. Starting over was scary. Going back to work with two children who need me, was scary. I was so afraid to go back to work. I thought what am I doing? I love teaching preschool! What is the point of this? It was such a random call I received one day out of the blue. You know though, the unknown for me is ALWAYS scary. Yet as I move forward one shuffling, and unsure step at a time my balance becomes stronger. Things are no longer scary. I am capable, I am strong and as long as I have the PEACE that can only come from a Father in Heaven who loves me, strengthens me, steadies me, I don't have to be afraid of change. I am still not sure why I am back at work, other than I love it so much and to know that change isn't always BAD. There are good changes too. I read an article that said, Life can be brutal and beautiful. It is brutiful.