Live Ardently.

I ardently love red poppies.

I am on a mission to bring the word ardently back into regular usage. It is the best word. Especially when Mr. Darcy says it to Elizabeth. 

I don't feel very well. I am tired and emotional. The two go hand in hand. 

So, tonight I came home after a busy day at work. I was observed by my Principal for my yearly review. I am a little nervous, I have tonsillitis and just didn't feel on the top of my game. Everything went fine I just wasn't as bubbly and peppy as I usually am. 

I came home after work to an empty house. I usually go to the gym on Mondays but decided I had better sit it out today, sore throat... even my neck is sore and my feet are getting charlie horses in them it is soo weird?!??

I had my quarterly date with Mr. Darcy tonight. Oh Mr. Darcy. I think Pride and Prejudice is the BEST story ever. EVER. I cry every time. I wonder if there is love like that still. Is there? I mean I know life isn't like that, I know that the story is just that, a STORY but are there snippets? Snippets of ardent living. I hope the romantic in me hasn't been squashed out. I believe in romance...ardently. 

I believe in everyday romance, not I saved your sister and family from a life of ruin and poverty like in P&P romance. I ardently still believe in love. It is the little everyday things that I believe in. Mr. Darcy is the perfect man, and he is that because he is a character written by a woman. However, it is the tenderness in Mr. Darcy that I am looking for, the loyalty, the kindness, the genuine heart. 

So, what does this mean for me? I don't know. It means I love Pride and Prejudice enough to watch it more than four times a year, both versions. I love any good English love story really. It means I hang some days onto thin shreds of hope that love is possible and some days in a firm belief that it is. It means that I am trying everyday to be a woman that loves ardently. A woman that gives love when she is tired to children who want back tickles before bed but she is exhausted from being sick. Or a woman who is patient when her children's Father calls to talk about homework when all she wants to do is sink into a tub, and then have to drive the forgotten homework packet to her child's Father's house so the said child can get it done. I guess loving ardently, living ardently is trying really hard to be RIGHT NOW the kind of person I would want to be loved by. The best version of me that there is so I am ready when it does appear. 

I can't really worry about it too much. I am too busy, and thinking about why it hasn't happened yet, or what is it I am supposed to learn that I haven't yet or why does love have to happen on the Lord's timetable and not mine just makes me more tired and emotional. SO. I will just be living my happy life...ardently. 

XOXO. The Sunny D