Dating 101

Number One Dating Rule: Do not wear mandals like Adam Sandler here. They are not AND have NEVER been cute. Ever. If your going to wear flip flops go for Reef's or Rainbows or Sanuks. Please.** OH SHOOT. I have been told SEVERAL times I should never call tennis shoes or jeans or anything a guy wears cute. Get over it, cute takes on a whole new meaning when a GIRL tells you what you are wearing is cute. It means you look nice.

You know everyone calls me for dating advice. Probably because I JUST finished reading these two books:

 Yes. These two books. Do you remember when I said I nabbed a whole bunch of books abandoned by my little sister? She left them in her old room. Here are two of the six. I was curious. Aren't you? Well. Here are a few little nuggets.

He's Just Not That Into You 

• If the guy you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or feel the need to start "figuring him out," please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find the one that is.
• We are taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's intoxicating liberating. 
• He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
• Don't waste the pretty. 

What does, don't waste the pretty mean exactly? That each day I am aging so essentially getting uglier every minute? Or don't waste the pretty on some lame dude? Can you actually waste the pretty? I mean aren't we always pretty? We're girls for heaven's sakes, right? I am so confused by that statement. 

Some of the advice was relevant and some of it was not in this book especially if you hold yourself to a higher standard when it comes to dating. In that statement I mean that you choose to be chaste before marriage. Anywho, after reading this daily wake up call in one day, I decided that maybe the men I thought I was dating I'm really not, or men that I thought were friends don't like me, don't think I am pretty and essentially will never date me. Wait. I mean really, wait. I thought that being friends first was a plus, right? NOT according to this book. So, essentially I was royally confused and frustrated after reading this and that is when I decided to move on to the next book. 

Think Like a Guy How To Get a Guy by Thinking Like One

Here is my first thought about this book. I DON'T want to think like a guy, not now, not ever. I very much enjoy being a girl and doing girly things. Here are a few more dating nuggets:

• Be evasive. 
• Block your phone number so when you call him several times in a row he won't know its you. (uhhh. can you say stalker. and do guys do this?)
• Don't take an hour to get ready, don't over accessorize
• Don't be a finicky eater
• Don't obsess over babies and puppies. (Seriously? We are girls and girls love babies any kind of baby, do you want me to really pretend to be something I am not?)
• Don't leave sappy notes( MAYBE not sappy notes BUT I LOVE notes, particularly because the written word is SO much easier for me than the spoken one.)
• Be a good cook or a great faker..how do you FAKE good cooking. Yes, um uh this rotisserie chicken I baked for an hour and uh I will just take it out of the plastic box..lame.
• Wax..waxing hurts. Trust me. It does however make life SO much easier and was MAYBE the ONE thing I agreed with in this book. 

The whole gist of this book is BE A MAN, and then when you are married and the deal is sealed THEN show him who you REALLY are.....and we wonder why the divorce rate is over 50%. 

You know what. I am NOT a MAN and If you are into me, I am pretty sure I will know it. These were just a few of the tactics out there and they contradicted each other. No wonder everyone is confused. OH BROTHER! I am going to write a dating book, it's going to be called: Go with the flow, how everything will work out the way it is supposed too. Whether you are friends or wax or are a finicky eater because you REALLY don't enjoy bloody meat, or pork chops. 

What I KNOW to be true about dating the RIGHT guy. Honestly is this:

I spent a long time not being loved by the person who supposedly loved me the most, being unimportant, not good enough, wrong in every way possible, unattractive, worthless, shown and told that I was NOTHING. Except for REALLY big occasions when others were watching, and listening.  When I am number one with you, when my needs are put ahead of your own and I put your needs ahead of MY own, when I feel supported by you, when you SHOW UP, when you are KIND, when you are brave and ask me on that date, when you call when you say you will, when you do the little, everyday things, I will know. I will know because it will just be who you are and it will radiate in your actions, it is the little things I think that make partnerships great. 

So. 

Look for the little things. Is he kind? Does he show up? Does he listen? Who is HE every day? How does he treat his Mom? Does he open the door for you? Is he funny and can you laugh at each other? Does he see your heart? Does he think it's beautiful? How does he treat children? What is his attitude toward women? Your waiter? The parking lot attendant? The homeless man on the street? Does he love his work? Family? Friends? 

AND.

First and Foremost...Do YOU do the LITTLE EVERYDAY THINGS to be the best person possible? Do you? How do YOU treat others? Do you serve others, or are you self absorbed? Do you cultivate love and kindness in your home? Towards yourself even?

Be the person first. That is my dating advice. Love others. Be happy. Be you. Be authentic. Be that sweet, wonderful, person you REALLY ARE inside. Stand up for what's right, be a friend. Then just open your heart, it will all work out. 

How is that for being the EXCEPTION AND THE RULE. 

Dating 101.

XOXO The Sunny D