The Purge

And so it begins. 

The summer purge. 

I cleaned all day, in my room. It is now sparkling and clean and there are bags upon bags of items to go to Goodwill. I subscribe to the Marie Kondo philosophy, The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up. If you have not read her book, you should. It makes it awfully easy when deciding what to keep and what to throw away. I purged items that held emotional memories, some things I had clung to for decades. Man it feels good. Everything is loaded in my car and ready to be delivered tomorrow. My bathroom is scrubbed and there is nothing I love more than the smell of cleaning supplies that have just been used. 

The hallway is next which contains a linen closet, a bathroom, and the computer desk. I'll start on that tomorrow. Or, I may work on the bathroom cabinets....There is an endless supply of things to clean. I love a clean house, but during the school year I struggle to keep it all together so summer time is my spring cleaning time. I hope to get the whole upstairs done this week so when the kids come home we can tackle their rooms. 

That is not the only purge...I am cutting down on the Diet Coke. I drank more water today than I have in a long time. I also have to have substitutes so I am armed with my favorite Tazo Passion Tea. It is so super refreshing. I like to make a big pot of it up and drink it over ice. YUM. I am hoping that by the end of Summer I am completely off of soda. It is such a hard habit for me to break.

I have been working on purging old habits. Our lives and experiences shape who we are and along the way we pick up coping mechanisms. They aren't always the best way to handle things or move through struggles. It's like Heather says; "Did you get all quiet and fidgety?" Whenever I am faced with a problem I tend to shut down a bit. I get quiet and wiggly like I can't hold on to the information and it is trying so hard to get out but gets stuck in my throat. The benefit of having a friend who has literally known you half your life is she can call you out on your crap. She has seen me navigate through some of my best shining moments and some of my ugliest. 

And so. Purging old ways..... I have been working on being vulnerable. It has been a challenge for me but a good one. I have had some really wonderful experiences that were safe for me emotionally. I have been able to open up more and my heart has blossomed. I have learned that I am not as broken as I thought I was. Perfect? No. I am far from it but I am trying and I think that is the key. I have worked on purging fear and anxiety. I feel like I have grown so much in the last year and I am happy. I have let myself be seen. Like one of my favorite authors and speakers Brene Brown says, "Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen." In being vulnerable I have had many personal disappointments that I will not delve into here but I will say this (another Brene Brown gem) "Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage." It's just that when you are trying to be authentic and open and honest sometimes that doesn't feel like courage, but courage was never meant to feel easy. Otherwise it wouldn't be so glorious when it happens and you'd miss out on that feeling of satisfaction. 

I am constantly in awe of the love that My Father in Heaven has for me. He has placed in my life friends and family that are way better friends than I deserve. I am never alone and am grateful, so grateful for them. I see his hand in my life daily. They show up for me and they show up often. I want to be better about reaching out to them because they do such a good job reaching out to me. I am so thankful for wonderful loved ones. 

I may not be traveling the world this summer but......I am still on the move. Purging, Being Brave, Moving Forward. 

May you be courageous and kind even when it is tricky---XOXO The Sunny D