Boulevard of Broken Dreams....The Bully Part II

This is my sophomore year picture

I guess I am writing this because what I want you to know is that I wasn't some pariah. I was a normal teenager. I had friends. I was involved in the community. I was a D.A.R.E. representative and went to elementary schools to talk about why you don't want to do drugs. I loved my family and they loved me.  I organized service projects for "FUN" and got my friends and neighbors involved. I did 12 days of Christmas for the widows in the neighborhood and wrote anonymous notes to people in the ward that I could tell just needed a pick me up. I went to church on Sunday. I played the violin, I was in the All-State Orchestra, in BOTH the Chamber and regular Orchestras at Mesa High. I ran Cross-Country and Track. I ran in the State Cross Country meet my Sophomore year. I had a job. I got pretty good grades. I went to dances and football games and parties. 

Jr. High Track sorry these pictures are TERRIBLE quality

High School Cross Country

One of the dances I went to...MAN WHERE DID THAT DRESS GO!!! It is AWESOME. 

I was 14 here, this is my little brother Marshall the day he was blessed. I JUST had a conversation about the DOILY collars on dresses and shirts. BAM. I have turned this picture three times and it keeps going back. Sorry

I had THE BEST Friends ever. 

Rianne, my darling friend. 

I loved my Brothers and Sister. Here is some family vacation. 

I loved this picture, not only because Marshall is playing golf in the front yard with that FANTASTIC red hat but because it caught a picture of HOLLY AND THE BUG!! Oh, man we have some good memories in that bug!

However, there was ONE part of my life that not many people knew about. My friends knew about it. It was the bully in our ward. I went on to high school at Mesa High. I was back with the bully and his gang. Why do bullies always have this "gang" as if one isn't enough. He was the epitome of cool and so were his friends. The girls drooled over them, they were fantastic football players and I guess they were handsome..but they were all ugly to me. All of them. In high school their ego's were fed, they were untouchable. There was a handicapped boy in our ward and everyone talked about how great these boys were because they had befriended this boy and let him hang out with them. Except, what the parents didn't know is that THESE boys befriended him because they thought it was funny to get him drunk on the weekends. It was so sad. 

Ok so back to the story. They continued to tease me my sophomore year in the hallways at school, in the parking lot..you now. I went about my life trying to ignore them. I gained lots more friends. I had so many different groups of friends to hang out with. My weekends were full of movies, or roller blading at the "Wedge." Going to get pizza whatever...I was happy. Then the summer of 1992 came and it was decided by my parents that I should go to summer school because I was taking so many electives including Seminary that I wouldn't graduate if I didn't take the classes. The classes were at Mt. View out RIVAL school. I woke up each morning and because I was so young I wasn't sixteen until my Jr. year of high school, so Mom drove me every day to summer school.

I now think how ANNOYING that would have been...all that back and forth driving and it probably never ended. 

It was the summer of 1992 that I met THE BOY. I also met a new friend I hadn't really known too well that went to Mesa High as well. We sat in the back of the room and I made a little group of friends fairly quickly. This boy sat in front of me and he was really cute. I MEAN REALLY. He was smart and funny too. We teased each other and on our lunch break walked to the soda machine and bought a GRAPE CRUSH every single day for lunch. It was the most fun I think I had EVER had in my life. I discovered boys. One day we found a bottle of baby powder in the bathroom on one of our bathroom breaks. I can't remember who found it first but I do know it quickly ensued into a baby powder fight in the hallway. We went back to class covered in baby powder and sore stomachs from laughing so hard. 

It was a fun summer. We went to movies and Nielsen's to share concrete's. He had a car so it was freedom. We would hang out at each others houses and I went to all of his softball games. 

He took me on my first date we had cheeseburgers. We also went to Castles and Coasters. It was super fun. Then school started. 

He went to the rival school. 

I MEAN SERIOUS RIVALS. 

The bullies cousin also went to the RIVAL SCHOOL. 

One day the cute boy called me and I complained to him about these stupid boys and how dumb they were. I told him the whole story and he was MAD. 

The next day he walked up to the COUSIN of the BULLY and told him the bully had better leave me alone or ELSE.

I had no idea this was going down. 

What then ensued was a FULL ON RIVAL SCHOOL WAR because of BLOODY MARY and I was in the middle of it. Because, I of course was Bloody Mary. 

The cousin of the bully relayed the message and that is when my real problems began. The bully and one of his best friends began to call me on the phone EVERY night. They would yell obscenities into the phone at me. Words I had never heard before. I remember the first few times just being frozen with fear when they called. I remember telling them to leave me alone. It didn't occur to me until the third call that I could just hang up the phone. It got very bad for me at school, I think I had full days of panic attacks frozen in fear if I even saw one of them across the way. It always seemed to be when I was alone too, I had all of these groups of friends but whenever I ran into the bully I was alone. They upped the taunting and teasing, they ganged up on me and teased me in a group and then they began to gather in a huge group across the street from my house so that I was afraid to even go outside. I remember peeking out my window and seeing car and car and car of them unloading. Waiting. Then the phone calls would start. 

I remember finally telling my Mom and she said, "Just ignore them." I obviously didn't have the capability to explain what was REALLY going on and I HAD BEEN IGNORING THEM FOR FIVE YEARS. So that was that. 

I remember later that week I had to go to the bullies house because his Mom was one of my Young Woman leaders. I had to report on my personal progress work to her. That was one of the longest walks of my life. Four streets. To the bullies house. I was literally sick to my stomach at the thought of even having to go there. The trouble was he lived on one end of the street and his friend lived on the other end of that street and MY two best friends lived in the middle. I was constantly afraid to have to go there and crossed my fingers EVERY time that when I walked to one of my friends that they would be inside so I wouldn't have to run into them. I arrived at my leaders house and she was so nice. She invited me in, she was talking to me and the WHOLE thing was a BLUR. I remember telling her what I was doing and then movement out of the corner of my eye. I froze in my seat, my stomach went to my throat. I looked at the bully out of the corner of my eye. He was getting a snack out of the fridge. That was so weird to me, that at home he was just a normal kid like me. He looked at me and walked somewhere else in their house. His Mom then said to me, Is he teasing you? I have heard he is teasing you. I really thought I might throw up right there because this was literally the last conversation I wanted to have with her right now. I wanted to go home, where I was safe. I could feel the color drain out of my face. I didn't say anything, you see I didn't have a voice at this point. It was hard for me to get out what I needed to say or wanted to say. I nodded my head slightly. She then went on, I am so sorry that you started your period and it got on your clothes and they are calling you Bloody Mary. 

UH. WHAT?

At this point I wished a big black hole would open up on the floor and swallow me whole. 

But. It didn't. 

Then I started to laugh and laugh. Because this was so STUPID. I took a deep breath and said, No. I did not bleed all over my clothes. The fact that this was associated to the name they called me gave me MORE anxiety. Is that what everybody thinks, I thought? It had been five years who KNOWS what rumors had gone around as to why they teased me. I told her the real story, her eyes widened when I said it started when I was 12 at camp, because I walked out of a satanic game. 

She said, I am sorry. You know they are just boys. 

It was Saturday night a few weeks later. THE BOY  was hanging out at my house. So was our friend who also went to summer school with us and her MESA HIGH Football playing boyfriend. Her boyfriend was a key player on the team and pretty much respected by everyone. We had gone to get slurpee's and were having fun. When the phone rang. Hello?..........IS your *********, ********, *********, **********,**********, ********, boyfriend there Bloody Mary said the bullies voice on the other end of the line. Yes. Tell him we are waiting outside for him. 

I hung up the phone. My face was white. I told THE BOY what the BULLY had just said and He stood up and walked to the front door. 

And this is all I can write for now as it is Saturday and I have cleaning to do, that I have been putting off...so Part III of the bully coming soon.