Is This the Meat Sweats??????

I trained. I ran. I finished. 13.1 it was nice to see you again. And yet although I am amid a pretty great accomplishment I STILL am critical towards myself. How do I let this go? Why can't I just pat myself on the back and say good job, you just ran a half marathon. Instead I look at this picture and compare myself to my friends. I am not as fast or fit or thin. LET.IT.GO. I am working on it, really working on it. You know the saying comparison is the thief of joy. It is true. It really is. In truth the time I ran this race was the same as the last 13.1 I ran when I was about thirty years old and that isn't too shabby. Plus, I had these wonderful friends join me in the run and that was joyful. THEN my friends from work surprised me to cheer me on at the race and that just put the wind in my sails. It was such a kind thing and such a surprise. I felt so loved. Thank you Meghan Hulihee and Laura Braidi! 

 And then there is something about running that breaks down my physical and I have to rely on my Heavenly father for help. There has literally not ever been a run longer than 10-13 miles that I haven't prayed for help to finish and power through. During this run we headed down Brown road and ran past the street my Grandparents lived on. As I realized where we were I felt a strong feeling that my Grandparents were right there beside me. I could feel them so strongly as I ran past their street and church and through the halfway point. I told T and Bobby that my Grandma and Grandpa were there and I was so choked up with emotion and tears streaming down my cheeks that I started to hyperventilate and had to focus on breathing. It is interesting to me that when things are difficult I feel them so strongly around me no matter what the task is. I love that and I love my knowledge and testimony that families really are forever and angels surround us daily to help us along this rocky path called life. 

I am not the fastest, the most athletic, competitive, thinnest, but I still do it. I still enjoy the run and somehow amid raising these children of mine and holding down a household and full time job I make enough time to get out and do it. And that is something. That says to my children, I love my body and my health and it is ok to take a little time for yourself. 

The last short run with my friend Laura before the race and this beautiful sunset gift as I ran home. These are the things that make me happy. Home, Sunsets, Outside, Friends. 

Maybe you aren't the best but you are good enough. 

Pre, during, and post race. It feels so good to accomplish a goal. It makes me want to do more, be more, work more. 

I had a few days of soreness and some gnarly blisters but Monday night I began to feel tired, really tired. I thought maybe it was residual tiredness from the run. However, I am usually recovered after a day or two at max. I went to bed early and headed into work the next day. It was clear by about ten AM that I had a flu virus. Which was not great timing as I was supposed to do parent teacher conferences this week. I got sick at work and headed home where I didn't move from my bed for a full 24 hours except to run to the bathroom. It was during this time that I wrote a haiku about the flu and had some really bad sick induced nightmares. 

Flu Haiku

48 hours of flu

All I want to do is sleep

(I was going to say all I want to do is poo but felt it might not be appropriate)

My guts are writhing

I worked a half day yesterday and went into work for conferences where I literally felt like I had the meat sweats the whole time but it was the clammy flu sweats. I worked all day today and did conferences and let me tell you all I wanted to do was crawl into bed. I powered through just like the race and maybe that is the theme of my life this week. Power through, slow and steady wins the race. 

XOXO-The Sunny D