Party of 1

It's Monday night and I sit here alone. What I have learned is being alone isn't scary. In fact, I love my own company. That may sound weird but you have to learn to love your life the way it is. I had to learn to be okay with being alone. There are a few things that are pretty lame about being alone here they are:

 a) Loneliness. There is a deep void when your children are away from you. Most of the time I am just preparing for when they return. I love my children and I love having them in my home. That is what normal feels like to me. I am pretty lucky that my kids come to school with me each day. I sure love them. They are the best part of me. I love when we are together doing family stuff. 

b) Cooking Dinner for One Person. I am totally serious! It is such a pain! AND why do I not cook for myself like I am worth a yummy meal? Because I am tired and cooking for one person sucks rocks. So what do I eat when my kids are gone? Let's see....I am Cafe Rio'd out. Sometimes I walk to Joe's Farm Grill which is good but half the time I just eat cereal. Fruity Pebbles Anyone? It is really sad or my new favorite peanut butter on a rice cake. I used to be such a good cook...now......not so much. Except when my kids are home I usually cook like two great meals and fill in here and there with stuff they like...like bean and cheese quesadilla's or breakfast for dinner. COOKING FOR ONE. NO BUENO. 

c) Knowing you should go out and be social but you just can't do it. I can't. One more fireside...one more house party...one more dinner group...these things are all fun.... but so am I, and I like hanging out with myself. 

So I am a non-cooking, lonely, reclusive party of 1. 

A friend asked me why I haven't been in a long term relationship lately. Well, I guess I should start going to those parties and actually meet people I don't actually already know. Does that sound excruciating to anyone else other than me? 

Here is what I did tonight while I was alone. First, I dropped my babes at their Dad's on the way home from school. Then I came home and sat on the couch for 15 minutes contemplating if I wanted to exercise or not whilst eating chex mix. Then I decided I better run off the chex mix, strapped on my running shoes and headed out. I ran into a friend in the neighborhood who I love. We caught up and then I walked through the fragrant orange trees. My eyes watered a lot but it was worth it. The blossoms smelled so delicious and made me so happy. Isn't that so beautiful? 

I wanted to run to the temple. I wasn't sure how far that would be but the great thing about not having anyone at home waiting for you is you can run as long and far as you want. I headed south and along the way I found someone's drivers license on the ground. I picked it up and carried it my whole run. I am going to mail it tomorrow to the person. My good deed today was carrying that dang thing the whole way and my good deed tomorrow will be mailing it to the owner. As, I was running I saw the American flag against the Higley water tower. It seemed so lovely to me. I thought about how happy I was to be an American. I also contemplated why I haven't been in a long term relationship and all I can come up with is I haven't exactly been emotionally available. Also, I have been focused on my children and career. But maybe I should try to be more emotionally available? Oh well, I quit worrying about it and continued on my lovely run. 

Suddenly I smelled something delicious...it was a dark green Rosemary plant. 

Then right as I crossed the road my nostrils filled with fried food smell that turned my stomach and reminded me of running in the heat of the day during Cross Country practice right by the dreaded Dunkin Doughnuts. Ew that is the worst smell when you are running in 110 degree heat. Doughnuts! I think we all dreaded having to run past there every day. 

There is such a peaceful and happy feeling that surrounds the temple. I love it. I am happy to report the recommend is current since my last failed attempt and I am looking forward to going this week I hope.I love going to the temple. I love the Gilbert temple. I feel like the Gilbert temple really is MY temple. 

As I headed home I ran past this pasture it was such a lovely thing to see. I always thought I would live somewhere like this. However that bull with the horns in front was staring me down. It made me nervous so I crossed the road and ran by....quickly. 

On the way home I listened to my music and relished the sunset. I watched as a thundercloud had lightning streak through it and I ran home to my new anthem: Barcelona by Ed Sheeran because maybe just maybe Barcelona is calling my name. Life is good. Everyday. Normal. Life is SO GOOD. 

Alone but Happy. 7 miles down tonight.  XOXO- The Sunny D