The Divorce Rate Is Higher Than Ever

I just love a tree lined street with a castle at the end of it. Don't you?

I had a conversation the other day with UADLL. I was debating whether I should go to the Mid-Singles Halloween Party. I ended up not feeling great and stayed in instead. It was a busy week in which I had already pulled an all nighter taking care of a sick, throwing up child. I wasn't too keen on having two all nighters in one week. 

We then got onto the topic of dating, which happens a lot. I mean there is SO much to talk about. Who we are dating, or not dating, or dated, or lessons learned from dating, or that ex-boyfriend that ALWAYS, I mean ALWAYS sends a text at the exact moment your totally fed up with the guy you are dating at the moment saying he misses you, or that you are beautiful, or that he totally blew it, or will basically make all of your dreams come true etc. etc. etc. 

What is with that? It's like ex-boyfriend sonar or ESP or something. 

Anywho.

There was this talk in conference a few years ago, it relayed the story of the man from Boston who was caught up in the excitement of the gold rush. He moved to California and began to look for, "gold nuggets so big you couldn't carry them." He gathered a large pile of rocks with no gold to be found. Along came an old prospector, the man from Boston said, "there is no gold here I am going home." To which the old prospector said, " There is gold here," and taking the rocks and banging them together the rocks split apart revealing gold flecks. The man said to the prospector, "Oh, well I am looking for golden nuggets like the ones you have in your pouch." To which the prospector held out his pouch for the man to see. The man was fully expecting to see several large gold nuggets but instead he saw thousands of tiny gold flecks. 

UADLL (Unasian Daddy Long Legs) said, "You know that is the problem with a lot of men these days. They are looking for love to smack them hard on the top of their head. They think they are going to have this HEAD OVER HEELS feeling of love, when in truth that RARELY ever happens. They keep looking for those golden nuggets, when what they really need to see are those little flecks of gold. Men today do not know how to recognize what true love is." She then went on to say, it seems to me that a lot of men think they will find this perfect love like their parents have, when what they don't realize is that true love is thousands and thousands of little golden flecks. 

I of course, agreed as this is a pretty good theory.  A theory which I have seen played out hundreds of times with a lot of various people. 

She then said, if men would JUST realize that when they want to be with someone all the time, talk to them all the time, text all the time, and hang out with them all the time it is the beginnings of love, its the flecks that are adding up and up and up to be that golden nugget. But so many men ignore those feelings, put women in a friend box, or fail to move forward that they lose the opportunity they could have had with someone who would have been a perfect match for them. 

Sniffle. So true!

I decided a long time ago that my divorce would not dictate my future. I decided that the things I experienced would not hold me back from living my life to its full potential. I decided that I was going to be and do and see. I decided that no matter what, I would be happy. I would be grateful. I would be kind. I would be the best Mom I know how to be. I think for the most part I have done this. I mean I still have challenges with it, I still have to work on having a good co-parenting relationship with the children's Father and sometimes this can really stress me out for multiple reasons. However, once I get over those hurdles I often see the blessings of my life. After I have cried, and complained and carried on....and sometimes had to work through some hard stuff by running it out on the road.  So this is my NEW challenge. I will do my best to not complain, to not let it affect me. I DO have control over that and the truth is, my life is pretty great. 

As I ended my conversation with UADLL, she said, "You know the divorce rate is higher than ever. THAT IS GREAT NEWS FOR US!" 

Which is true, and we laughed. 

Don't ignore those flecks of gold, if you have them, hold on to them and don't let go. XOXO, The Sunny D.