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Everything is changing and that my friends is a good thing. Can you feel it? There is a shift and what that shift is I am not sure but it feels oh so good. I think things are about to get interesting.

I was invited to be a part of a panel to discuss the topic of love. It was for single men and women my age. I have thought long and hard on this topic since I had been given the assignment. What does love mean to me? How do I show love? How can I improve in the way that I show love to others? How do I receive love? What do you do when you feel lonely or sad? I prayed that somehow in this discussion there would be as Isaiah says, beauty for ashes. As I know so many of the men and women who are my age and single have been so broken by love. I mean I have been. I am no expert obviously, but I have tried to listen and pay attention and learn the lessons I have needed to learn from love. Mostly, I have failed at it. I have tripped and fallen and gotten back up more times than I'd like to count but even then, I STILL have a brightness of hope for the future. Here are a few of my thoughts:

You have to love yourself first. My friend Kim reminded me on a run of the oxygen mask analogy in an airplane. You must first put YOUR oxygen mask on to breathe before you can help anyone else. If you have no oxygen you are no help to anyone else. SO OK I think great, I love myself. But do I? What does that look like? So I made some goals and I have been religious about keeping them since the end of June. In order to love myself I do three things: Spiritual/I read my scriptures each day. Physical/I run three times a week. Emotional/I go to two activities a month with friends. As I have done these three things my life has been filled with joy. I feel joy, peace, and love and what more do I want than those things in my life?

Last Friday, my children were home but both of them had plans for the night with friends. I was all of a sudden left alone. I kinda felt lonely. So I thought, OK I am going to love myself. This is a great opportunity to meet my weekly commitment and I decided to get out and go for a run. As I was running, the song Friday I'm in Love came on. I thought....Gosh, it's Friday and I am not in love. I'm not on a date. I am all alone. But then I thought..NO. I LOVE MYSELF. I love myself! I am running and I love myself. BUT THEN the next song that came on was, Not For You. I said out loud THAT IS NOT TRUE! Love is for me. This is another thing I realized about love. Sometimes negative self thoughts come into our minds, fear, doubts, and unnecessary worry. I have learned that when those thoughts creep in we have to turn them around. These thoughts do not bring joy, peace and love. They bring fear. We have to learn to dismiss those thoughts and feelings. We need to realize where these thoughts come from they are not the doctrine of Christ who brings Peace, Love, and Joy. They are the doctrine of the adversary who brings fear. Dismiss those thoughts because they are not true. Was it true I wasn't one a date..yes but how could I be I had planned to be home with my kids? Is it true I would never go on any more dates? Absolutely not.

Another thing I have learned is that if I put the important things first everything else falls into place. I trust that will happen love too. This is important...I have learned to pay close attention to this one.

I have learned to recognize all of the love around me and receive it. Receiving love was once a very hard thing for me but now I relish in it. I love my friends and talking to them. I love my family and my children. I love spending time with them. I love my life it is simple and happy. I love the outdoors. I love the birds and the green freshly mowed grass. I even love the screech owls that howl at night. I just remind myself that they are singing their song of love. I love the sunsets and I love to walk by the garden that grows near my house. There is love vibrating all around us ready to give if we will only take notice and be grateful for it all. Notice the good things.

My friend asked me the other day when is the last time you bought something nice for yourself? I thought and thought and thought and couldn't think of anything. I thought what do I buy besides groceries? I bought myself a few nice things last weekend. It makes me happy to get dressed and feel girly! I love being a girl. I love cute shoes and dresses and pretty hair and make-up. So I bought a red skirt and some cute shoes and swiped on some red lipstick and VOILA. She was back.