Be Bold, Be You

Her heart is soft and squishy but her spirit is made of titanium.

I am writing with a tender heart tonight. I have a lot of thoughts from this last week and I have learned so many lessons. One of my goals this year was to show up. I tend to walk through this life in a comfortably numb state. It is easier that way. No one gets hurt. (No one meaning me.) However, you miss out on a lot being comfortably numb. This week I showed up when my natural instinct was to hide, quietly, so no one would notice....me. I lived big this week and I faced fears, big ones. 

A List....one of my favorite things.....

Never let your kids get a hold of your phone and start swiping for you on your dating app. All of a sudden you will be getting a bunch of 5'6 rando's calling you baby. No. NOPE. 

If the thing you hoped would work out doesn't, it is ok.....it still might. AND if it doesn't something else will.

Show up for the ones you love. SHOW UP. Be present. 

Sometimes a hiatus from social media is like super duper refreshing. 

You just don't know how many days you have live BIG. So do it..do all the things.

There is peace in knowing Christ and becoming his friend. 

Face your fears...you can do it. 

Never. Ever. Trust a man who eats a hamburger in a circle around the edges and if he does google him stat.

Anytime I think of something nice in my head about a person instead of keeping it to myself I say it out loud...like you have beautiful eyes, or I love your dress...make people's eyes sparkle with kindness.

Don't beat yourself up about it...a lesson from the man bagging my groceries at Trader Joes on Saturday. I had realized I had forgotten my bags because you know...the environment....and I said, OH SHOOT I forgot my bags! I actually felt really bad about it and he so nicely said, "Don't beat yourself up about it." And I thought you're right...that can basically apply to my whole life on the daily. 

Always assume people are doing their best.

Love people where they are at. 

Today was the Primary program at church. I had all kinds of anxiousness boiling in my bones about today. Like I had to stand on a stool and what if I fell off, or what if I had a snuggie, or how will everyone behind me feel about my bum in their face, or what if I mess up, or what if it isn't just so...guess what...I ALMOST fell of the bench, my bum WAS in everybodys face..I wore SPANX so tight there was NO way any kind of snuggie was going to happen CRISIS ADVERTED, I totally messed up...royally, and you know what? It was still amazing. I had all the feels and got so choked up that I led and couldn't even sing. I was reminded that I am a child of God and all of these perfect yet totally imperfect, wiggly, gap toothed, smiley children were too and our future is bright because of them. Even with all my major anxieties, insecurities, inadequacies, prayers for a miracle that I could get through this, tears in the temple Saturday night fretting over the program the next morning, feeling this morning like....maybe if I JUST say my alarm didn't go off and I miss it.....maybe no one will notice. Wishing my children were sitting beside me and feeling the strongest most powerful sense of loneliness sitting on that pew by myself. Like, so alone that I cried. But then bolstered that my Mom and Dad were sitting right behind me and so were my niece, nephew, and brother in law. That at the precise moment I felt so alone I felt a hand on my back it was the infant of the family sitting behind me I could tell they felt bad but if they only knew I needed a hand on my back. I made a commitment, my word for this year is show up, and even though my showing up was not perfect, and not polished, it was just right. It was just right because the kids made it perfect and that was the miracle. 

Do fun stuff. Live. Laugh. Connect with friends.

 Go to the Clever Koi restaurant and try their Tuna Chips. I am craving them right now. In downtown Gilbert. YUMMO. 

Life is good. So so good. And Adventure is awaiting me just around the corner. Can't Wait. XOXO- The Sunny D