Divine Coincidences

The best of friends from infinity to beyond! 

I do not believe in coincidences. I believe in God and that he has a plan for each of us. I know that my children have been mine long before this Earth. I know that I was so incredibly anxious for them to get here, not just because I was their mother, but I believe long before this world existed we were friends. The very best of friends and there was nothing my spirit wanted more than to have them here close by me on Earth. If you have had to wait for a child because of fertility issues or you have been separated from a loved one by death I think this concept will feel familiar to you. 

This week was a humdinger and my body succumbed to the stress of it. I have been trying to figure out how to not burn the candle at both ends or in my reality the whole candle is on fire, spot fires everywhere. This is the second week in a month that I have run a fever. At least this time I have a five pound weight loss to show for it. I have known since August that I needed to simplify. How though? It was about a month ago I found myself sitting in the Bishops office sobbing. I asked if I could be released from my calling, it had just become too much. I was working everyday of the week and I needed Sunday to be a real day of rest. To be honest I just didn't even want to go to church anymore because I was exhausted. I think if you know me well this might surprise you but the one thing I will always be is truthful. I am human and I struggle especially with exhaustion. Exhaustion is my number one enemy.

I did not have my children this week. They were with their Dad and Sunday came with a happy surprise. Our church time had been moved to 12:30 just for that day. I had a big week ahead with a lot on my plate. So I decided to start Sunday morning outside hiking the San Tan mountains. I didn't hike too far or too long. I listened to conference talks and soaked up the beautiful Sabbath morning. I had parent teacher conferences this week and several children in my class had been weighing on my mind and heart. I needed divine guidance on how I could help THEM the most. Here is the thing...after working in some way or another in the field of teaching I sure know a lot. I have seen a lot. However, I know that there is someone who knows more  than me and I like to ask Him what He thinks. That is exactly what I was doing on this hike. I was thinking about each child and getting direct divine instruction on what I needed to do to BEST help THEM. I am pretty sure Heavenly Father knows exactly what they need way more than I do. Here is the other thing I want to state...do not think for one minute that your child's teacher has not fretted over them at one time or another. After I had thought about each one, I knew exactly what it was I needed to do to help them, individually. 

I was also thinking about my children and what I could do to help them. What did they need from me? Living during this season of time is hard for children, heck it is hard for adults! Everything imaginable is available to us at our finger tips, video games and cell phones lull our sensitivities to sleep. We are never bored our feelings and abilities to work through problems are replaced by mind numbing activities. It is not easy! Or maybe it is too easy? I had listened to a podcast that talked about a man whose son was struggling with drugs. The family had done everything they could to help their son but he ended up living on the street choosing drugs. Then the story unfolded that the dads father and the sons grandfather who had passed away came to the dad in a dream and told him that he was coming to help the son. In a miracle this grandfather did just that from Heaven and the son got off drugs. Now, my son and daughter are not on drugs and they have normal teenage problems, but I fear for them and all of the things that surround them that they are exposed to at such a young age. I cannot be everywhere at once and protect them from all of the things! Plus, I want them to be strong enough to protect themselves but the pressure I feel is immense to protect my babes. Especially as a single Mom. ESPECIALLY. It was here on this walk that in my head I said, "Why can't my Grandpa come and help MY son?" He has passed on and I know he is one of my Ministering Angels. Without one doubt. However an impression came to me loud and clear, let me clarify, not loud and clear but piercing and clear. In my head and heart I was told, "You are Aydan's ministering angel." So I asked...what is it I am to do Heavenly Father? There are some mountains I am up against with my children. I knew exactly what it was Heavenly Father wanted me to do. I knew exactly what each of my children needed from me. 

My seventh grade basketball team was also in the semi-finals this upcoming week and they had worked so hard this season. You have never seen a team with more heart. Or two coaches who loved them as much as my Dad and I did. I thought about how I could help them. I knew exactly what I was to do. 

I was also to direct the Primary Program this upcoming Sunday. Would the children feel the spirit? Did they learn what they needed to learn this year? 

Then I asked Heavenly Father..WHY AM I IN CHARGE OF SO MANY CHILDREN?!? 

There was no piercing clear answer to that one.. I mean He could have said BECAUSE YOU ARE THE CHILD WHISPERER...but He didn't. 

Why I am in charge of so may children I do not know. Maybe it is because I care enough to ask Heavenly Father what he needs me to do to help them and then I put on my sensible shoes and get to work. So I did all of the things that Father wanted me to do. I spent one on one time with my son and expressed my love for him. I taught and got up early and did not have a break at all during the day. Conferences started just as soon as school let out and then I ran to basketball games until 6:30 on Monday and Wednesday. I talked to and listened and taught parents in the best way I knew how. We problem solved together and children were praised! Tuesday night I came home at 5:30 flopped on my bed and did not wake until 6:00 the next morning! Thursday I had a late night of conferences and then because I had no prep time during the week and prepared for conferences during my lunch hour, I stayed to get this next week prepped. I was SO looking forward to Friday. Ellie and I had a plan to catch a movie after work as for the first time ever I would actually get to leave on time. When, I received a call that Aydan had a terrible skin problem on his arm that needed immediate medical attention. And so. We spent the afternoon evening at Urgent Care and then the pharmacy and then picking up a cousin to have a spend-the-night. It was Friday night when I finally sat down around 8:30 that my guts began to ache and they ached and ached. I have spent the last two days and three nights with a horrible case of the cha-cha-chas. I couldn't even get out of bed on Saturday. I was riddled with fever and aches. I cried the ugly cry as how was I supposed to go to church on Sunday and lead the Primary Program we had been working on all year without pooping my pants?!?! I had vivid mental images of me standing in the middle of the congregation not being able to get out fast enough to the potty down the hall. I couldn't even make it an hour laying in bed without running to the porcelain throne.  My dad came to take Ellie to her soccer game because I could not move. Matt then brought her home but upon hearing I was ill, graciously took the kids so I could rest. I writhed in pain and was tormented over how I was going to lead today. I asked my Dad for a blessing and he came and gave me one. Last night, I threw in the towel on leading and I did what I hate to do. I asked for help. I had to swallow my pride. I had to let go of what church members might be thinking as I was also released today. Did they know I did my best? Did they know that when I said no it was because I physically was doing all I could? It might not have been someone else's best but I went above and beyond my capabilities. I was consistent. I shared my testimony. I taught. I disciplined. I had fun and I played. This morning I woke up in a puddle of sweat my fever had broken but my guts. My guts have been screaming all day and I ran to the potty three times before 8am. I cried. It was supposed to be me today and what am I supposed to learn from being sick and not getting well? 

I did all I could. I ran and ran and ran and ran....... like all long distance runners do until my endurance could not endure anymore and my body gave up and said sit your buns down. Literally. On the pot. 8,000,000,000,000 times. 

And I would do it again for the children I am so lucky to know and love. 

XOXO- The Sunny D