Tonight We Play

My friend Carolina invited me to come play with this Christmas Orchestra a few months ago.  I then invited my sister and here we are. Last night was the first performance and tonight is the second. It is a community event and I have been so blessed by playing. I have felt the Christmas spirit so strongly each week as we practiced. The concert was so well done and so many talented people participated. I left feeling so happy my soul was singing with beautiful music. 

I have felt as if I am lacking in my ability to give. I look around my house and it is so messy right now. I remember the time when I would clean and clean so that my house would be ready for Christmas. I would have a whole menu prepared a special family dinner and a Christmas morning breakfast. I don't even have my children Christmas morning this year. Is it sad that I have gotten used to the abnormal as my normal? I have learned to not morn the moments that should be and relish in the moments that are. I have learned that I can give of myself in new ways, ways that are just as good just different. I can play my song of redeeming joy on my violin. I can sit next to my sister and that is a Christmas gift in itself. I can say with my whole heart that I have given all I have this year even if it is just a widows mite and I fall ever so short. Even if my house is a mess, there is laundry to do, dishes in the sink, presents still to be bought, and no fancy meals planned or executed. Today, one day after school let out I woke up late because I am ever so tired and got a few gifts. I bought groceries for the next week. I wanted to clean and get a few more presents but my energy was spent and so I sat down and took a quick one hour nap. I am now dressed for the concert happy to be a part of something bigger than me. 

Tonight we play! XOXO- The Sunny D