The Choir

This is my view each morning. I stand right outside directing traffic each morning during my duty. It is a blessing to teach across the street from the Gilbert Temple. 

It has been a long time since I have had any time to sit down and write. I have been so caught up in my children and their activities, shuttling them from one thing to the next. Plus work and their Father has been traveling a lot, so I have been lucky. I have had my children a lot. I just love those two rascals. My life has been hectic and very stressful at times. I have many moments where I am completely overwhelmed with the day to day things of my life. I am constantly giving away all of my energy and love to children and I love it. However, most nights I find myself barely able to walk up the stairs to my bed. I have given the day my all and I am completely and utterly exhausted. 

In October, I learned that my Ex Mother in Law (who I love by the way) was called to be the director of the cultural celebration for the Gilbert Temple Dedication. This is a huge undertaking, and one that I know she will do an AMAZING job at. She is simply the perfect one for this job. This will be a celebration of dance, music and theater. Honestly speaking, Rosanne can turn a simple old ward choir into the MoTab choir. I am not kidding you, she has a divine talent for music and the arts. I have always been in awe of her ability. When I heard she was directing this huge production I called her up to ask her if she needed any help. She said, "Well, Do you want to be in the choir?" I said, SURE! You see I had sung in the ground breaking choir she had directed years beforehand. I thought it would be a similar thing, me and fifty other people or so. I wasn't planning on being in a choir. I was sort of thinking more or less of making her some dinner or running some errand she needed while she was directing the youth of the church at their practices. But, HEY singing in a choir sounded fun too! 

Shortly after, I was sitting with my Stake President and his wife at our ward's Halloween party. I asked him if Rosanne had submitted my name for the choir and he said he would check on it. I was excited at the prospect of being able to be involved in the dedication of the Temple. He also informed me only five names from our WHOLE stake could be submitted and to basically not get my hopes up. He also mentioned that he didn't know I was a singer. 

Well. I am not. Not really. I love to sing. I always have but I would say I have more of a choir voice than that of a soloist. It turned out that loving to sing and my desire to help landed me the part of a lifetime. I was one of twenty people chosen to sing at the 9am dedication of the Gilbert Temple. Needless to say, I was thrilled. I was so grateful. Then humbled at the job, I wanted to do my best and I began to doubt my abilities. There are so many better singers out there than me. I can name a whole bunch from just my own ward. 

I then found out from Louise Jones our choir director, that to even be considered for this choir names were submitted. Then the names had to be approved through many priesthood leaders and herself. In order to sing, you had to meet some requirements. 

And then, I really started to get nervous. I thought how am I going to do this? But then I thought, well 20 people...that is a lot right? Then I went to the first practice. After the first practice I really felt inadequate. There were like OPERA singers in this choir. NOT KIDDING. I mean just some of the most beautiful and amazing voices. I felt like a mouse squeaking out the songs trying to get the tune...and then I was put in the alto group. I had always sung soprano and so I was nervous because I had never sung alto.  I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to "hear" it. I didn't think I would ever be good enough to sing in this choir. Except, at the first practice Sister Jones said something that stuck with me. She named five things that she prayed for her choir. I can't remember all of them but the one that stung my heart was she wanted someone who DESIRED to be a part of this choir. I knew that is pretty much all I had......... was a desire to be able to be a part of the temple dedication in any way. Even if it was putting booties on peoples feet. I left that first practice thinking....well, at least you have ONE of the five requirements. I made a promise to myself that I would not miss one practice, because if anyone needed practice....it was me. I had a little pity party. I talked to a couple of friends about how nervous I was and how I didn't know if I would ever be up to par. One friend said, "Dior, the Lord has chosen you. Don't worry." I was then talking to a different friend the next day who said almost the same thing. After listing all of my inadequacies and why I wasn't good enough for this choir he said, "Dior, the Lord has chosen YOU for his choir." That is when the scripture came to mind that the Lord will qualify whom he has chosen. I felt like maybe I could do this. 

The second practice I was asked to give the scripture and devotional. I testified of my love of the temple and its healing powers. I also told them how I was the least qualified for this choir but I promised to practice and work hard. I have done just that. Sarah Larson in my ward played my singing parts on the piano which I taped on my phone. I enlisted my children's help and every time we were in the car we sang the three songs that were selected. I played the violin all through school. I have played the second violin part, essentially the alto part and I have also played the 1st violin parts. I remembered that I could play those parts well and the music and notes began to come back to me and I was able to change the notes from violin to voice. Just as when I listen to classical music and can name most of the instruments or if there are one or two violin sections and which parts they are playing. I began to quickly hear the different vocal parts. I also began to hear my part clearly and sing it with confidence. It has not been easy to make the practices a priority in my crazy busy life, but I have. I have not missed one. 

There have been many blessings for me and my family through this experience. I have had an increase of the spirit in my life. I have learned to not give up, or give in to fear. To keep trying. I have been surrounded by such a wonderful, kind, loving group of people each week. I have learned that these are the types of activities I want in my life. I want to be involved in activities that I can feel the spirit. I have learned that the Lord is aware of me. That he loves me and even the weakest voice in the bunch is important to him. I have always felt that this was just one way that the Lord is letting me know he loves me, and that my efforts are recognized by him. I get to be in the Celestial Room of the temple when it is dedicated, with Prophets of God. I am so humbled and honored. I only hope I can keep the tears under control so I can actually sing. I also found out that the choir's names including mine go on a list of names of people who are involved in dedicating the temple. This list of names will be put inside the cornerstone of the temple and will be there forever. What a blessing for my family and I. I can hardly write this without a lump in my throat. I am so happy, so blessed, so lucky. I can't wait for the dedication. I am so grateful for the temple, for the gospel, and the plan of salvation. 

Two more practices to go. The temple will be dedicated March 2nd. There will be three dedications and I will be singing in the first. I am so grateful. 

Love, XOXO

The Sunny D