The Kids Are Gone.

Do you ever watch the clouds? I love that. It is almost monsoon season which means we will be getting some good, white, puffy clouds. 

Every summer the kids go with their Dad for two weeks straight. I dread it. I know some of my friends will think I am crazy, they would LOVE two weeks without their kids. Let me tell you how this two week break has evolved for me. 

Your children are such a huge part of your life. When they join your little family they have this way of taking over everything. First they take over your body, wriggling around in there making it impossible for you to sleep, then your kitchen with their bottles and you know all those KID DOODADS you JUST had to have. Your laundry room is filled with jammies, and burp rags and blankets that need to be washed. They take over your car with this HUGE car seat and the shade screen on the window, and don't forget the stroller that takes up the WHOLE trunk of your car. They take up all your time, except for those few precious moments you get to shower and finally wash your hair and scrub your arm pits. Yes, I just said that. ITS TRUE. They take something else over, fully, truly and completely. 

Your HEART.
 I think this is what happens when you serve someone every day and night, you can't help but fall into complete love with them. So, all of these things are an adjustment sure but they are what begin to define your days, your life and if you are not careful YOU. 

I had to learn the hard way. My life as I knew it crashed and burned around me in epic proportions and all that was left was my kids. I dove headfirst into being their Mom. I was determined to weather this storm and shelter them the best I could from it. There were several problems that arose from this method of coping with divorce. First, I shared the kids with their Dad which left me with gaping holes of time every other weekend, holidays and TWO WEEKS alone in the summer, the second problem was I was absolutely and utterly exhausted. I mean the kind of exhausted where I could probably go to bed for two weeks and not wake up because my whole life revolved around them.  

Summer Break 2010:

First Break Alone. It was bleak. I curled up into a fetal position on the couch and stayed there. The whole time. Watching both versions of Pride and Prejudice and pretty much every other romantic English drama that made me feel like a total and complete loser, a failure at love. I was sick with worry, literally Flu like symptoms. I would forget to eat, lose ten pounds. Sleep? What is sleep? I didn't sleep. The days dragged by and when the kids came home I essentially looked like Winona Ryder in Beetlejuice. 

It was a good look for me. Half dead.

Summer Break 2011:
excerpt from Divorcing Dior July, 5
It was Unasian Daddy Long Legs Birthday today. You know the first birthday alone, stinks. I am just going to say it, it just does. It is LONELY and sad and so unsure. We went to Joe's Farm Grill where she got a free lunch and she shared it with me!  As we were sitting there this GORGEOUS blond dressed beautifully with thick long hair walked by with her hottie hubster. I said out loud, but I didn't really mean too I was just thinking it. I said, "Do you think if we want to get remarried we are going to have to look like her and be as thin as her?" Unasain Daddy Long Legs said, Yes. My lunch didn't seem so yummy anymore. I pretty much just felt fat. So I did what any woman would do, I came home from lunch and FLOPPED on my bed. I couldn't fall asleep to take a nap because I had been getting a MIGRAINE earlier and I took TWO EXCEDRIN!!! I was so mad. So I got up and cleaned the house, painted Aydan's room, did some laundry, the dishes, took out the trash, and unpacked four boxes of food storage that have been sitting in Aydan's closet for a year and put them away.

Year two: I just kept myself so busy that when the kids came home I was exhausted. BUT, I was learning because I had started running and hiking. I began to remember who I was, and the things that I liked to do that were fulfilling to me.  I was in counseling, and let me tell you something I needed it. I needed help learning how to navigate through this new life. I was the turtle..slowly and surely I would win the race.

Summer Break 2012:blog post June 2, 2012...

It's not what you have lost, its what you have left over that counts!

I have a lot left over. I thought I had lost it all, but in fact I did not. I have gained a new understanding of the purpose of life. I have been humbled. I have a closer relationship with my Father in Heaven. I learned how much my family REALLY loves me. I found out how much my friends REALLY love me. I have lost myself in helping others and serving my children. I have seen the true beauty in life, and I understand what is truly important now. I am happy. 

One benefit of getting divorced is that you lose a lot of money. Benefit you say? Yes, I think so. I have become the Mom I want to be. I am home, I do not have money to spend on frivolous things. I make bread, I can jam. I read chapter books to my kids. We are reading The BFG. It is one of my favorite books....ever. I have had to be resourceful and capable and use my smarts. Which in turn makes me feel, well More Capable! I used to pay a personal trainer $250.00 a month to work out with him three times a week, in a small group. Guess what I just found tonight that has been here ALL ALONG? My neighborhood has a GYM. I knew we had a gym but I had never been in there, it has a FULL CIRCUIT of machines to train on! I have to say, I do love to train with a personal trainer they push you harder than you thought you could work. Maybe one day I will be able to go back, fingers crossed. For now, it is important for me to work out, it keeps my stress levels under control. This is another thing I have learned. It is important to keep my weight down, because when it is down in the normal ranges for my height I feel so much better about myself. I mentioned that I was going to run a marathon this year. I am. Training begins June 17th. I went running tonight, a whole two miles. I kind of felt like a loser because it was hard. It was hot too. I then went and worked out my chest and shoulders at the neighborhood gym. It felt so good to sweat! 

A trick I use when I am running is of course my ipod. Then, I focus. I focus on something ahead of me a shadow in the road, a rock in the road, a crack in the gravel. I make these mini goals to make it to the next sign or shadow and before I know it my run is half over. This is a concept that I use in my life too. I used to get so bogged down by all of the things I had to do and get done. Now, I realize and I give myself permission to not have to do it all. My best is good enough. I make a few small goals each day, and when I reach them, I focus on the next small goal. Some of my daily goals are:

A quiet peaceful time to relax and read a book.

Scripture or Religious Study

Clean House (I choose one big job a day, bathrooms, mop the floor etc), Clean children, Clean and ready for the day myself

Time spent with my children

Time to exercise 

I also use the time before I am going to sleep after I have said my prayers to ponder the things I need help with, or answers to. I sometimes just use that time to be grateful for all that I have.

These are a few things I have learned that help me each day. They help me to be the Mom I want to be, the friend, teacher, daughter. I didn't do these things before the divorce and I was an unhappy person. I choose to be happy and to live a life of purpose and to do that I have found that these few things really help me A LOT!

You see, I am just starting to turn the corner. I have learned to be grateful, realistic, trust Heavenly Father, and the importance of quality time for my kids AND myself. I am balanced. I read this post today and I am just so thankful for the lessons I have learned and am still learning and I am happy.

Summer Break 2013

Don't get me wrong, I am still a very dedicated Mom. I have learned that even I need to refill my bucket and that it IS OKAY to do so. I also have learned that a great time to do this is when the kids go with their Dad. It is hard being a single Mom. It is true. Here is an example:

I had a conversation with UADLL at the pool the other day. One of my children was acting up. I won't tell you which one. This child had to have a little time out. I let the said child back into the pool after a few minutes of think time. As this child entered into the pool the SAME MEAN behaviors began again, and the arguing and teasing and fighting. So, I told this child to get out of the pool for another time out. I was met with the stink eye, words muttered under the breath and basically a really stinky attitude, followed by a BIG DRAMATIC PLOP onto the pool chair followed by a big SIGH. The child sat for what I determined was enough time, and I asked the child to come and talk to me where I WAS THEN BLAMED for the behaviors. The other child involved was asked to join us where they had an I'M SORRY FEST. The child that was in trouble then looked at me and said sorry VERY RUDELY. Like the child was so put out by me.  Which then took some time to work through.

After watching this whole thing UADLL said, (wisely I might add) "The hard thing about being a single parent when our kids act out like this is we don't have any back up. If our kids said rude things to us at least there was another parent to say..hey please don't talk to your Mom that way. Now we have to discipline, teach them how to respect us and each other, and comfort them all at once. Everything is on our shoulders."

The point of telling you this is so you will understand that being a single parent is hard and tiring and wonderful too. But it is imperative to use the breaks we have wisely. That is the time to refuel, get groceries and run our millions of errands, pay bills..etc. etc. etc.

I still dread my two weeks away from my kids, but this year...................I am going to SPAIN!

ADIOS AMIGOS! The Sunny D XOXO

Flowers On My Table and Feather's In My Cap

My sweet date Friday night showed up with flowers. Doesn't that just make your heart melt? It made my heart melt. They are such beautiful, happy flowers too. Those are Sunny D flowers. I can't tell you how happy that made me. It is the simple things I tell you, the thoughtful things that make a girl feel like  a million bucks.

Earlier that day I had gone to the temple. It was such a beautiful sunny day. I walked past this dahlia (I think). It made me so happy, yellow is my favorite color. I stopped to look at them and think for a minute, to enjoy the calm, peaceful, feeling I had before rushing back home to get a whole bunch of stuff done. It was the first thing I did once I had a free moment and the kids were with their Dad. I needed to go to the temple.

A few fun things we have done this summer. I took the kids and their Texas cousins to the Science Center. Aydan won the tickets on the radio. He was tickled pink!

 Ellie had a few friends over for a "craft day" they had snacks and decorated paper dolls with some of my fabric and trim scraps. It was so fun having these little girls over. Each and everyone of them is a GEM.

They turned out really cute! I found the paper dolls and ideas at this website, so fun and easy!  Fabric Scrap Dolls HERE

Ellie and I went to As You Wish to paint pottery. She picked a Gecko, but painted it pink and purple and turquoise. We gave it eyelashes too. Ellie got to do all of these fun things because Aydan was in a TWO week summer school program through Gilbert Public Schools called" Music Theater Workshop."  It is an AMAZING class for kids to take in the summer. He just loved it! They basically put on a WHOLE musical in two weeks. The kids learn "acting" parts, singing, solo's and dance numbers. It is a huge undertaking. They then put on this crazy-good performance at the end of the two weeks.

 The whole family was in attendance. Left to Right: Jared, Morgan, Grandma, Mom and Dad

 Then Ellie and I

I only took VIDEO of the show! Aydan's Dad was stuck on a plane and couldn't make it in time so I was trying to tape it for him and his Step Mom. Here is my cute, sweaty, boy after the show. He worked HARD! OH, and they each get a cool t-shirt. I love him so much. I don't think I could have been blessed with a better boy. He is so AWARE of Ellie and I. He asks me all the time, "Mom, what can I do to help you today." I am NOT KIDDING, AND he just came that way. There was NO special training from me that is for sure. For several nights in a row he has sent a paper airplane down from upstairs with a love note on it for me. OR a love note on my bed. He is a JOY and the apple of my eye.

We also have gone to Gilbert Public Schools Free Lunch Program a couple of times. It is fun because we usually run in to several friends! It is a full service lunch that is free to children age 1-18. Parents don't eat for free but at a really low cost. I just brought along my protein shake. There are site's available all throughout Gilbert, we go to Greenfield Jr. High. It gives me a nice break and the kids see friends...a win win. They also serve free breakfast EVERYDAY. Do you know what a lifesaver it is when we are running around everywhere and then WHAM its time for lunch. It's great.

Last but not least Elliegirl lost BOTH of her front teeth. I love that little toothless peanut.

Summertime MYSTERY......dun dun duuuuunnnnn

This is one morning before preschool, I am trying to get Aydan to Kindergarten on time and we have two hitchhikers in the car. Aydan's legs are on top of Coco. Coco was Kinky's baby and outweighed her by about twenty pounds. Kinky is the blond Shar-pei. She is my favorite dog. She died a few years ago from stomach cancer. That was the worst day. I loved her so much because we were pregnant together. Yup. We were. So after that, I just called her Momma. She was a feisty, sweet, little thing. Just  like the kind of women I love to surround myself with. Man, I loved that dog. On this morning I was trying to get out of the house and back home in time for my class. She would NOT get out of the car. I would go around to the other side to get her out and she would outplay me. We did the only thing a person could do.

She won, and took the front passenger seat. We took Aydan to school. When we got home they both happily hopped out of the car. It was weird, they never tried that again either. 

There is another dog I love, my parents dog. Louise I. I love Louie, he is another BEST dog. All he wants is love. He really is the sweetest, best dog. 

This was our dog Jaxon. We loved him but he was kind of naughty. He ran away one day and never came home. My kids still talk about it. It was over two years ago. 

This is another special dog, Shelby the dog. She is UADLL's dog and I babysit her occasionally when they go out of town. She loves me. Can you tell? Saturday morning my kids were with their Dad. I awoke very late at almost 11am. Can I say it was JUST DELICIOUS. Truly. UADLL has a teenage daughter. She is beautiful, I mean just BEAUTIFUL inside and out. She babysat my kids for me the night before. I came downstairs and went to sit down on my couch when I saw.....

Whitish animal hair all over my couch. I just figured that Shelby may have come for a visit and lay on the couch. So I began to hunt down my clues to this MYSTERY. UNTIL. I talked to Unasian Daddy Long Leg's who SWORE to me Shelby hadn't been over to my house. 

AND

Then I sort of freaked out. You know, some strange animal had made itself comfortable on MY COUCH. AND LEFT HAIR ALL OVER IT. Which, I promptly vacuumed. Then I really started to look for clues. I walked over to the doggie door I had installed when I owned Jaxon, the dog that ran away. Guess what I found?

At the bottom, of this VERY CLEAN doggie door (gross) in those grey fibers which you can't see very well but they are there, were CLUMPS of the SAME hair. I was on to something. I walked out side and found a cat poo. 

Mystery Solved. 

Someones CAT had made itself a nice little bed on my couch. 

This has happened before:

This is Mr. Butters the neighbors cat who was constantly confused which house was his, he has since moved so it wasn't him. He is a cute cat, I would have been OK if I KNEW it was Mr. Butters. My fear is that there is this feral, scary, white, clumpy haired, farm cat that roams the neighborhood and hisses at you if you walk by it. EW. What if it was that cat.
Feral CAT! 
UGH. Do feral cat's know how to use doggie door's?
 Or the same neighbors had a grey cat that one morning had come in through the doggie door, and was lounging on the stairs when Aydan woke up and began his decent to get breakfast. When I heard............AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! At this time I jumped out of bed, in fact I fairly flew out of bed. When I heard, THERE'S A CAT IN THE HOUSE. ANNNNND IT ISN'T OUR CAT!!!! (well, uh YEAH, mainly because we don't have a cat) I nearly rolled on the floor laughing. The intruder ran as fast as his little grey legs could take him. 

You know, we KNOW those cat's. Those cat's are OK. This is a WHOLE new thing all together. 

This is a MYSTERY CAT. 

I locked the doggie door. That'll show em'. 

May your summer be as exciting as mine. 

XOXO The Sunny D

Modesty and The Peeping Tom

 When I was twentyish, maybe 19. I can't remember but the fact is this, I was a tall drink of water. I was long, lean, toned, had blond hair and legs a mile long. My family moved to Gilbert in 1996 the year after I graduated high school. It was a great set up and my house quickly became the place where all of my friends congregated.  I was so happy because for the first time EVER we had our very own pool.

 This is our pool a few years ago. That is Louie he is the lifeguard of the pool. The saga begins......

 One sunny, summer afternoon a few cousins, friends, and my BFF M&M came over to lay out and swim. We all had bikini's on, ice cold Diet Cokes, and The EDGE 103.9 playing on the radio.

Now, I have always been a very modest person..okay except for the little short shorts I always wore... but in the comfort of my own backyard I didn't think twice about wearing a bikini. I didn't wear it anywhere else. I figured no one would see me anyway.

We were all giggling and having a grand old time, talking about how HOT Gavin from BUSH was when I got this creepy feeling. I can't explain it. It was just weird. We all flipped over onto our stomach's to tan our backs. I looked up for some reason and noticed on the south wall the neighbor boy who was one year younger than me staring at us over the fence. I sat up and said, "GARY! What are you doing? Go away!"

Do you see the fence in the pool picture?  That is the north wall, where I am taking the picture is pretty much exactly where I was laying all those years ago. The south wall looks exactly like that but it is behind me.

He sort of laughed, herherher...and disappeared. I was obviously creeped out and so was my entourage. As I remember my parents were out of town with my brothers and sisters on a summer vacation. We sat there talking about the event of Scary Gary staring at us over the wall. I mean really though, I can't blame the poor kid we were ALL lookers. Until he did it again, and I caught him and yelled at him followed by all of the girls chiming in to scram.  This relaxing afternoon was starting to stress me out. We all calmed down, swam and proceeded to soak up some sun. When. The back porch door opened and guess who walked through it? Scary Gary. Did this guy have a brain? I was FREAKED, because not only did he have the GALL to stare at us over the fence and get caught several times, NOW he had come through the garage, FAMILY ROOM and out into the back yard. Luckily, I was surrounded by a GANG of feisty BRIGGS women and M&M. I said, WHAT are you DOING? He sat there mouth gaping. "Oh, Uh...I came to return your families spare key." YOU HAD A SPARE KEY TO OUR HOUSE? I spat. AND, YOU HAD TO GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW? Get out of here before I tell your MOM. My backup bikini clad girls chimed in, YA, That is SO WEIRD! Quit staring at us! Get OUT of HERE! Eyes rolling. He didn't bother us again THAT day.

But, weird things started to happen around the house. Like our pool furniture would be moved and pushed up against the wall to the bathroom window's. EVERY TIME, I would be outside kissing my boyfriend,  Scary Gary would appear out of nowhere....Hey guys. He would say that every time...Hey guys. It happened so often and was so STRANGE it became this inside joke. Anytime one of us would say, Hey guys we would crack up giggling. One time in the summer my family went on vacation, I had to work so I stayed home by myself. We had motion detector lights all across our back porch. I was in my Mom and Dad's bed when one by one, click, click, click, click the back porch lights flicked on. I lay there in pure PANIC, not knowing what to do. I didn't want to walk to the kitchen as our WHOLE front room is floor to ceiling windows looking into the backyard. I called the police. They came and nothing happened, they decided it was a coyote. The next night, my cousin Ben came with his rifle and slept on our couch.  I started to have major anxiety about being home alone. CLEARLY. We never put two and two together until SEVERAL YEARS later. I had been married off for a while and my sister was in Jr. High. When early one morning she saw a flash of a white ball cap and a man staring at her in the shower! SCREAMING HYSTERICALLY, My Mom ran to see what was going on. When she found out she ran out front in her jammies with a baseball bat yelling some pretty scary things, I am SURE.

We tried and tried to figure out WHO wore a white ball cap and would be up EARLY in the morning.

THEN. Scary Gary's family moved and we noticed, it all stopped. AND THEN, we put all the puzzle pieces together. Scary Gary, all along. DUH.

This is my sister, (and her ADORABLE husband who loves her for JUST who she is) she is lovely in every way and probably never wore short shorts or a bikini in the backyard. Oh. WAIT, yes she did.

But, we don't anymore. We have learned what dressing immodestly does to the men around US. To me I was just oblivious, ignorant really. I now choose modesty. I don't dress ugly, or frumpy in my opinion. I embrace the feminine form. I want people to SEE me. My brain, my heart..the important stuff. I wrote this because after posting a picture of my new, very modest, swimsuit a friend sent me a link. Please watch it, and ladies let's choose modesty. Isn't there enough half naked women we see every day? It comes through our phones, the TV, in HUGE ads at the mall, and is easily accessed on your own PC. I for one am not going to add to it, I have a big heart. I have a smart mind, I have a caring spirit, and I am STILL a TALL DRINK OF WATER. Please watch.

The Evolution of the Swimsuit

Momma, Why YOU Should Go To the Public Pool This Year

Okay this is at Sunsplash. I was so pretty and tan last year. Yesterday was the first day my white skin really saw the sun this summer. Aren't these two girl's the cutest. They are M&M and I's mini me's. Now, you must let me tell you about the public pool. 

 The public pool. Look at these girls, Ellie is leading Livy along. I love those girls. I have a challenge for all you Mommas out there. Married, Single, In a Relationship, Just had a baby, etc. YOU. I want YOU to go to the public pool, and this is why. (Side Note) Well first of all I just bought my new swimsuit.

Here I am outside the public pool, casually leaning up against the car in 108 degrees. Isn't this the cutest suit? I love it because it covers up my problem areas. It is REALLY modest and I LOVE IT. I didn't actually wear it to the pool today. Now, let me tell you a little bit about the public pool my friends.

You MUST go. You may even come with me the next time I go. Do you know WHY? The public pool is filled with ALL kinds of NORMAL people in swimsuits. ALL KINDS. I have always had a slight body image problem, what I see in the mirror isn't always what I really look like. After a lot of hard work, I now have a good body image AND a healthy relationship with food. By saying good body image I mean: That I don't beat myself up over things I can't really change, and accepting and appreciating the good things about my body and HEALTH. As, I was walking around the pool sans board shorts, I noticed that I looked pretty OK. I mean I was looking around at all the Mom's and even the teenage lifeguards and I thought, wow. All of these women were here and they were all beautiful, every single one of them. Each one of us had flaws sure, but we were all there working. We were all there watching and protecting children. We were all united, one-pieces, two-pieces, cellulite, tattoos, scars, and saggy parts. Every single one of us had things that were beautiful one woman flashed a mega watt smile, I noticed one with eyelashes so long, dark and thick. I paid $70 to have eyelashes like that once. One woman had thick brown hair, and another had an infectious laugh. One woman had abs of steel and another had strong muscular legs. One had a dusting of freckles all over her body, angel kisses. Every one was different, everyone was beautiful and not ONE of us was airbrushed. Imperfect Perfection. I don't have to look like a magazine ad at the public swimming pool. I sat in the sun, my favorite thing to do with one of my dearest, most darling friends. We were joined by another friend, and another, and another. Unplanned. How lucky is that? How FUN is that? It is nice to just be me, in a swimsuit, OK with me. You know? Oh, and a bonus is the kids played and played and played. It is beyond cheap to get in. They came home cranky and worn out and are now sleeping peacefully. 

My dry skin after two days in the sun and chlorine. Sad. My friend sent me a picture of her hand she was lamenting over the fact that she thought she had an AGE spot. Age spot? I said, Isn't that just a freckle? I have tons of them all over my body. Arms, Legs, Face, Shoulders, Chest, Back. I sent her this picture and she said, no those are definitely age spots. I choose to disagree, they are angel kisses. Age spots are for old people. I am not old. Dry skin? Yes. Old? No.

What do you say? Let's go to the public pool.
XOXO The Sunny D

Apple Pie For Lunch

We have an apple orchard in our neighborhood. They have desert apples on them. Desert Apples become ripe in June, they are tart with a hint of sweetness. I kind of think of them as a Granny-Smith/Golden Delicious mix. The orchard is small, maybe just ten trees or so. The kids love to go pick the apples because that means Mom will be baking. Plus, it's fun.

Here is a little spelling tip: Dessert has two s's because you would like TWO helpings of dessert. Desert  only has one s. At least, that's how I remember it.  We made two apple pie's from our apples and a German Apple Puff Pancake that was AMAZING. We ate the rest of the apple's. I usually eat an apple everyday. I love apples.

This is my favorite cookbook. Hands DOWN! It has pictures as you go along of what you are making and what it is supposed to look like at crucial steps in the process. Now, my Grandma makes THE BEST apple pie I have ever had. No one can make an apple pie like my Grandma but when I asked her for her pie crust recipe she said it has a pinch of salt and about half lard, half shortening there were no SPECIFIC measure's in her recipe. I need to be able to measure out ingredients because I am NOT THAT GOOD. However the pie crust recipe in this cookbook is golden brown, flaky and delicious. It turns out every time for me, you just have to be careful in this ARIZONA HEAT because this pie crust has to stay COLD to be able to work with it effectively. As soon as the crust is room temperature it sort of falls apart. I have to work fast because I tend to have some perfectionist tendencies when it comes to dessert's. I want them to look and taste perfect.

This is the German Apple Puff Pancake. You cook the apples down, add the batter and then bake in the oven for about 20 min. You then flip the pancake over onto a plate and serve in slices. It was really good.

This is the first apple pie that I made. It came out of the oven at about noon and our whole house was filled with the smell of apple pie deliciousness. My kids were begging me for a slice and so I decided we would have, APPLE PIE FOR LUNCH! You would have thought my kids had just won the lottery over here! There eye's lit up and there were screams of delight. It was so yummy.

Quitting Soda and STAYING OFF Tricks of the Trade

Wow. My hand is veiny I never noticed that. It's all that iron I've been pumping. 

Holy Cow! I guess there are A LOT of us in the same situation, thank you so much for your notes and comments. Hopefully, I have pointed everyone in the right direction. So now, I have to tell you a little secret that has helped me kick the soda habit and stay off. Crystal Light Energy or its just as delicious and cheaper counterpart the Wal-Mart Great Value knock off. You can find them in the same place with the powdered drinks. My favorite flavors are strawberry, grape, and blueberry acai. 

Another staple is I make fruit infused water at home. I love lemon and lime but I like to mix it up a bit. I have put fresh pineapple in the water for a yummy pineapply taste. My favorite fruit infused water is strawberry, basil and lemon. I love cucumber and mint water or even oranges in water. So good. 

I also like Calle Herbal Tea sold by Sunrider, I love to drink it cold with ice. Cinnamon is my favorite flavor. 

I am not sure if you have noticed the over 100 degree weather outside? When it is really HOT I am at my most vulnerable to fall back into the soda habit. I mean soda is cold, tasty and cheap! The key is to be prepared!!! I have those plastic insulated cups with the lids and straws. I ALWAYS have one on me filled with water. I make sure my freezer is stocked with ice cubes. If it isn't I fall prey to my addiction because I am THIRSTY and there is a Circle K on almost every corner. Now, I know that the Crystal Light Energy has some caffeine in it. I don't drink it every day, but I figure that one non-carbonated drink once in a while to help me curb my soda habit is WAY better and healthier than a gallon or more of Diet Coke a day. There is always the regular non-caffeinated Crystal Light so if you are a purist, go for it! 

Where I run into the biggest problem is when it is hot, and I am thirsty and I have already had a GALLON of water AND I AM SICK of plain old water.  I have found that by using these little tricks it eases the urgent feeling of running to get that Coke. Before you know it you won't even blink an eye at a soda fountain because you will feel: less bloated, thinner, in control of your body, OH and my skin cleared up. YUP. It did. 

A few last tips:

I have to know that occasionally I will be able to enjoy a soda pop. That is why I said previously I allow myself to have a soda if I am at the theater. It is limited to one place and one per week, so if I see two movies in a week I will take an older Harkins Theater Cup the second time and have them fill it with ice water for me. OR if I am just detoxing and haven't finished the two weeks off of soda pop just yet, I will take an older Harkins Cup at that time as well. ( You can't get the $1.50 soda deal with the previous year's cup)

I think I am a person who enjoys having a drink in the morning, so I often make a protein shake smoothie. It makes me feel like I had that yummy drink in the morning but it is slam packed with vitamins, antioxidants and protein to keep me full until my 10 am snack. I always have frozen fruit ready in the freezer. I also just ADORE the Jamba Juice make it at home mixes. They are in the freezer isle and they are FANTASTIC! I add my scoop of protein and I am good to go. My kids even love me to make them smoothies for breakfast. I also ALWAYS have EAS, Shamrock Farms Protein Shake, or some similar pre-made brand on hand for when I am in a hurry. If you are a SERIOUS soda drinker you know what that morning wake up call for a pop feels like. This little trick has helped me immensely! I also accredit this tip to helping me keep my weight in check. 

You can usually catch me with a gallon of water in hand. That is right. I know it looks silly but there is a method to my madness. First of all, I am a cheapskate. A real, true, honest to goodness cheapskate. Did you know a GALLON of water is usually less or the same price as a 20 ounce bottle? It is! So I always buy the gallon. The other plus is I have a gallon goal each day. My goal is to drink at LEAST a gallon of water a day and if I am carrying a gallon around it is REALLY easy to tell how much water I have had. 

Good LUCK my WONDERFUL FRIENDS! You can do it! Please message me on your progress I love to hear how you are doing!! 

I just finished day 6 of the cleanse, I did have a moment of weakness on day two where I had a Diet Coke. It's true, I did. I wasn't prepared! I was caught running kids all over the town and found myself hot, tired and thirsty. Guess what? I had dropped about two pounds from the cleanse at that point, but when I weighed myself the next morning I had gained it all back! Never fear, and never give up. I just recommitted myself without guilt (Might I add) and I have done great since then. I am now noticing that soda sounds sticky, sweet, yucky and so do the two to three extra pounds! I haven't weighed myself since then but I can tell in the way my jeans fit that things are better. 

Be Prepared! Be Healthy! Be Happy!

XOXO-The Sunny D

Courage

I sat down with my little girl yesterday afternoon. I was busy cleaning the bathrooms when she came in and grabbed my hand and said, "Come watch the movie with me Momma." I let her lead me to the couch where she snuggled right up next to me. We were watching BRAVE. I knew right then why she wanted me to come, it was the scary part.

I sat there thinking about a lot of things. I thought, I could be cleaning, I have so much to get done. I also thought, how many more summers do I have that my little girl will ask me to sit by her for comfort? What is really important?

 We watched the movie and as you know there is a part where the scary bear comes and attacks the King and then turns on Merida. Merida's Mom has been turned into a bear, the clan has tied her down because of course they don't realize it is the queen turned bear. When the queen/bear sees the big scary bear rear up to attack Merida, she breaks free from her ropes. Although she is smaller than the big, scary, mean bear she is a force to be reckoned with as she goes full on Momma Bear mode to protect her child. Salty tears welled up in my eyes. I felt kind of silly, but this poignant part of the movie resonated with me. There is nothing I would not do to protect my children from physical harm, even spiritual harm. I think this is the nature of women, a courage grows in you that you never knew you had.

I have been thinking about bravery and courage. There are so many examples of courage all around me, I see these women and I watch them. There is one woman I have noticed in particular. She is the epitome of beauty and grace. She is kind and I just love it when I run into her. She is older than me and carries with her wise intelligence, and she is my friend. This woman's husband health has declined in the last handful of years. His heart is sick and he needs a transplant. It has gone from good, to bad, to worse, yet he has courage. He bears it smiling. She is cheerful and helpful. She stands next to him, a pillar of confidence and courage. I see them every week at church. I am sure there have been moments of uncertainty and fear not knowing the future, and wondering if her husband will survive. I am sure there are quiet moments when the tears spill down her cheeks. I can imagine the doctors appointments and medical bills that pile up. Yet, I know she has peace. She has Faith, She is COURAGE. What a beautiful example she has been to me. She has quiet courage, and I know that THIS woman is a force to be reckoned with. She is just the kind of woman I hope I am becoming.

I am grateful to be a woman. I am grateful for the examples of courageous women. I think of my Grandma who is a widow. I am sure lonely, just waiting to be with Grandpa yet still loving all of us, lifting all of us and serving all of us. I think of my Mom, once divorced like me but so much younger. Who stood with strength for her children while Dad's health declined, almost weekly he walked a line between life and death for YEARS, until he was blessed with a kidney transplant. I think of my Aunts, two have had cancer. One survived and one did not. I think of how brave they are, the thought of radiation alone frightens me! I think of another Aunt who raised 8 fantastic children, that takes courage. I think of my best friend, she struggles with a child that has some special needs. She is exhausted but she ALWAYS advocates for him. She is a FORCE to be reckoned with. I think of how tired she must feel and helpless, yet she always finds the best for him, to help him grow and become a successful adult. I think of my other best friend who is divorced who parents her children in a loving, kind way. Who shouldered lies played out in the media, it probably felt like the whole city was watching her. She was so brave. None of these women are famous. Not one, but they are ALL forces for good, forces to be reckoned with, these women are my celebrities. They are quiet courage. 

Be courageous.

XOXO-The Sunny D

Dating 101

Number One Dating Rule: Do not wear mandals like Adam Sandler here. They are not AND have NEVER been cute. Ever. If your going to wear flip flops go for Reef's or Rainbows or Sanuks. Please.** OH SHOOT. I have been told SEVERAL times I should never call tennis shoes or jeans or anything a guy wears cute. Get over it, cute takes on a whole new meaning when a GIRL tells you what you are wearing is cute. It means you look nice.

You know everyone calls me for dating advice. Probably because I JUST finished reading these two books:

 Yes. These two books. Do you remember when I said I nabbed a whole bunch of books abandoned by my little sister? She left them in her old room. Here are two of the six. I was curious. Aren't you? Well. Here are a few little nuggets.

He's Just Not That Into You 

• If the guy you're dating doesn't seem to be completely into you, or feel the need to start "figuring him out," please consider the glorious thought that he might just not be that into you. And then free yourself to go find the one that is.
• We are taught that in life, we should try to look on the bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you're the rule, not the exception. It's intoxicating liberating. 
• He's just not that into you if he's not asking you out. Because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out.
• Don't waste the pretty. 

What does, don't waste the pretty mean exactly? That each day I am aging so essentially getting uglier every minute? Or don't waste the pretty on some lame dude? Can you actually waste the pretty? I mean aren't we always pretty? We're girls for heaven's sakes, right? I am so confused by that statement. 

Some of the advice was relevant and some of it was not in this book especially if you hold yourself to a higher standard when it comes to dating. In that statement I mean that you choose to be chaste before marriage. Anywho, after reading this daily wake up call in one day, I decided that maybe the men I thought I was dating I'm really not, or men that I thought were friends don't like me, don't think I am pretty and essentially will never date me. Wait. I mean really, wait. I thought that being friends first was a plus, right? NOT according to this book. So, essentially I was royally confused and frustrated after reading this and that is when I decided to move on to the next book. 

Think Like a Guy How To Get a Guy by Thinking Like One

Here is my first thought about this book. I DON'T want to think like a guy, not now, not ever. I very much enjoy being a girl and doing girly things. Here are a few more dating nuggets:

• Be evasive. 
• Block your phone number so when you call him several times in a row he won't know its you. (uhhh. can you say stalker. and do guys do this?)
• Don't take an hour to get ready, don't over accessorize
• Don't be a finicky eater
• Don't obsess over babies and puppies. (Seriously? We are girls and girls love babies any kind of baby, do you want me to really pretend to be something I am not?)
• Don't leave sappy notes( MAYBE not sappy notes BUT I LOVE notes, particularly because the written word is SO much easier for me than the spoken one.)
• Be a good cook or a great faker..how do you FAKE good cooking. Yes, um uh this rotisserie chicken I baked for an hour and uh I will just take it out of the plastic box..lame.
• Wax..waxing hurts. Trust me. It does however make life SO much easier and was MAYBE the ONE thing I agreed with in this book. 

The whole gist of this book is BE A MAN, and then when you are married and the deal is sealed THEN show him who you REALLY are.....and we wonder why the divorce rate is over 50%. 

You know what. I am NOT a MAN and If you are into me, I am pretty sure I will know it. These were just a few of the tactics out there and they contradicted each other. No wonder everyone is confused. OH BROTHER! I am going to write a dating book, it's going to be called: Go with the flow, how everything will work out the way it is supposed too. Whether you are friends or wax or are a finicky eater because you REALLY don't enjoy bloody meat, or pork chops. 

What I KNOW to be true about dating the RIGHT guy. Honestly is this:

I spent a long time not being loved by the person who supposedly loved me the most, being unimportant, not good enough, wrong in every way possible, unattractive, worthless, shown and told that I was NOTHING. Except for REALLY big occasions when others were watching, and listening.  When I am number one with you, when my needs are put ahead of your own and I put your needs ahead of MY own, when I feel supported by you, when you SHOW UP, when you are KIND, when you are brave and ask me on that date, when you call when you say you will, when you do the little, everyday things, I will know. I will know because it will just be who you are and it will radiate in your actions, it is the little things I think that make partnerships great. 

So. 

Look for the little things. Is he kind? Does he show up? Does he listen? Who is HE every day? How does he treat his Mom? Does he open the door for you? Is he funny and can you laugh at each other? Does he see your heart? Does he think it's beautiful? How does he treat children? What is his attitude toward women? Your waiter? The parking lot attendant? The homeless man on the street? Does he love his work? Family? Friends? 

AND.

First and Foremost...Do YOU do the LITTLE EVERYDAY THINGS to be the best person possible? Do you? How do YOU treat others? Do you serve others, or are you self absorbed? Do you cultivate love and kindness in your home? Towards yourself even?

Be the person first. That is my dating advice. Love others. Be happy. Be you. Be authentic. Be that sweet, wonderful, person you REALLY ARE inside. Stand up for what's right, be a friend. Then just open your heart, it will all work out. 

How is that for being the EXCEPTION AND THE RULE. 

Dating 101.

XOXO The Sunny D