<data:blog.pageTitle/>

This Page

has moved to a new address:

http://diortidwell.com

Sorry for the inconvenience…

Redirection provided by Blogger to WordPress Migration Service
The Sunny D: September 2014

Monday, September 15, 2014

What A Real Man Knows

Truly. My wish, for you. 

Dear Boys and Men,

Wasn't that a Band? Boys to men? Man they were good to. Oh yeah, yeah it's all coming back to me now, "I'll make love to you, like you want me to and I 'll hold you tight baby.... all..... through..... the..... night." BAM! Those were the famous lyrics. 

Well before you get to the BOYZ II Men stage....boys and men.....here are a few things you should know. 

I watch you. 

In fact WE the women and girls of world are WATCHING you. Unfortunately, sometimes it is just your biceps that we are watching. Especially if we are girls, but if you are a WOMAN you see below skin deep. 

Here are a few things I have noticed lately and what REALLY truly impresses me. Especially since my friends and I like to throw the occasional shin dig. Like the Belgian waffle party we had last night. It was delicious, and quite a lot of work. 

There are two types of males. 

BOYS 

and 

MEN

What differentiates the two? 

Guess what. I'm gonna tell ya. 

The boys show up hungry, they are generally handsome and dressed well. They eat and they mingle with all the girls and we of course should be SO happy that they came. And we are, I mean we all need a little eye candy right? However, they are POSERS. YUP. POSERS. Watch out for the posers. They are there ACTING like they are awesome....but are they? On the surface, sure. In their OWN lives SURE. I bet they are. I mean I am sure they are good, but are they great? 

How can you tell the difference? 

This is how. What I want my daughter to know, my nieces to know and all the girls I have taught or come in contact with trough church service. FIND A MAN. Look for the guy when you are having a family dinner that gets up afterward and helps CLEAN UP THE DISHES : washes, dries and helps wipe down the table. Not the guy that eats and then gambles over to the couch to sit a spell and chew the fat with the other guys ruminating over the last ASU game. 

The Men are quiet, they visit but they also HELP. They bring stuff and they clean up the kitchen while everyone else talks. They aren't asked to, because WE will happily do it. I mean we planned the dad gum party anyway, RIGHT? They speak kindly of others and you can tell by the way they act and treat  others that there is just something MORE that differentiates them from the crowd. They treat every girl like she is special. It makes them SPECIAL. The helping is what I always notice. Ladies, next time you are at a shin-dig...notice who is a helper. Man alive is that an important attribute to me. Helpers. Kind Talkers. Soft Hearted. Patient. There are some really good men out there. 

I don't think the women are the only observers. I am sure men observe too. They watch how we carry ourselves and speak. The world needs more kind women.  We need women who are loving and gentile, who have manners and treat others with kindness. The world needs WOMEN not GIRLS. Women who watch their speech and are not cynical or crude. A real woman who knows who she is and lets her little light shine. 


Keep your eyes peeled my friends. This one is for the big fish. XOXO- The Sunny D






Sunday, September 14, 2014

Farewell Cool Cucumber, Thoughts on Marriage and Second Chances

Goodbye, Adam our kind friend. 

This weekend I had the opportunity to attend the marriage of Adam aka Cool Cucumber. Spanish Sassafras and I met him at a mid singles camp-out a few years ago. He quickly became our friend as we had come in an RV and the weather turned unseasonably CHILLY. I remember sitting around the table and talking and thinking.....maybe being single again won't be that bad. It was the first time I had single friends again. 

Adam is a dear friend and I am so incredibly happy for him and his new wife. He has been so kind to me. I knew I could always count on Adam to be in my corner, always kind. He will be greatly missed in mid-single land by us. He always knew of what fireside was happening and any activities going on. He always included us, we sure love that great guy. 

Note Interjection Here: I am listening to "Sunday Music" on Pandora and it is just delightful! I love it! Try it out. 

Another couple that met on that camp-out, that are dear friends and got married, the lovely Simpson's. 


Sheri Yee, our other dear friend that was also with us was married a few weeks ago. I am so HAPPY for her! It makes me grateful there are things such as second chances. It also makes me think about my journey and where I once was and where I am now. I see my strengths and weaknesses, imperfections. It also makes me keenly aware of the Lord's timing in things. I know there are lessons that I have needed to learn and insecurities I have had to overcome that have led me to this spot I am in right now. So, I guess I could wonder when will I have a second chance? I think it is better to ask, "What am I doing now to prepare for that second chance?" 

It is a hard thing having perfectionist tendencies. However, my perfectionist tendencies do not span into all areas of my life. It is more in expectations I have of myself and others. I have had to learn the really hard way that sometimes your best is enough! I have had to learn to LET GO of my tight grip on certain things. Like having a spotless house, a perfect body, time to do everything that matters perfectly.  That has been hard for a SELECTIVE perfectionist like myself. I like things to be just-so. Not so-so. 

I have also learned that you just have to show up to things. I mean two people I adore met each other and got married from that camp-out. They showed up. They were doing the work. Other couples I know met online and others were set up on dates. Faith with-out works is dead, the work to be done for loves second chance is to SHOW UP. 

After being in a marriage that was lets just say, less than ideal. My expectations in men went sky high. I mean I ruled EVERYBODY out. I always could find something wrong. I now see that this was also a form of protection because I really wasn't ready to be in any sort of relationship...so I ruled EVERYONE out. I kept walls up and my heart safe. I read a book this summer that really opened my eyes and gave me a concrete LIST of attributes to look for in a potential future husband. I have since been trying to BE this type of person. As I read through this list I recognized things in myself that I needed to do better. So here it is from Choosing Glory the chapter titled, Safe Dating and Marriage Choices. 

Look for a partner with Terrestrial Characteristics. HUH? This was a strange concept because wasn't I looking for someone with Celestial Characteristics?? However it says:

A partner with terrestrial characteristics has consistent behaviors requiring self-control and deferred gratification. It says terrestrial behaviors are difficult to fake over time, however people can easily fake celestial characteristics. AHA! 

Here are questions to ask when looking for a spouse:

Does this potential partner pay his/her bills?

Is he/she in significant debt?

Can he/she hold down a job?

Is he/she often hurtful or offensive? 

Is he/she in full fellowship with the church?

Does he/she have good credit?

Is he/she able to maintain solid relationships and healthy friendships, or does he/she leave a trail of injury and enmity in his/her wake? 

Does he/she control his/her temper and other appetites?

Does he/she honor commitments-attending meetings, fulfilling callings, doing home or visiting teaching? 

Are his/her decisions based on his/her own selfish desires, or does he/she consider the wishes and well-being of others?

"It is important to remember that at this stage of life we are not looking for perfection. We are looking for solid consistency over time.  Celestial behaviors CAN be faked but counterfeits can't "hold their breath" forever. Over time it can be seen what type of mastery an individual has over the natural man." Choosing Glory

So there it is. A short list with high dividends. I guess I should show up.....I'll see you all at the fireside tonight. 




XOXO-The Sunny D













Monday, September 8, 2014

One Year Wiser.......?

You're out of luck non-skaters

I have so many things I want to talk about. Like how school was cancelled today because of the 1000 year flood. I mean we received half our annual rainfall in a couple hours this morning. It was a sight to behold. 
Here was the park behind my house a couple hours after the rain finally stopped. I went about my rushed morning as usual. I got ready, the kids ready...ran to Fresh and Easy to get a co-worker some flowers for her birthday. I dropped the kids at their Dad's. The roads were totally flooded. Then I got the news that school was cancelled! WOOHOO. That has never happened ever, but people just couldn't get to work. Something really weird happened as I pulled into the school to get some work done for a couple of hours. There was a rat in the middle of the road hunched over as if it was enjoying a seed, its little hands to its mouth. Except it was dead. Like the poor little thing was totally caught off guard I bet it drowned mid bite, the way flash floods occur here. Maybe it was really nervously biting it's nails and overcome with rain storm anxiety. I hate when things catch me off guard like that. 

I am so annoyed one of my stupid fire alarms keeps beeping. ARGH. I just changed the batteries in one. I HATE THOSE THINGS. I just balanced two chairs on top of each other to unplug it. Now that is ninja stealth right there. Either that or stupidity. 

One Year Older and Wiser Too.......

So I had a birthday. I'm getting older and every year I age I feel certain things slip from my grasp. Like babies. I wanted more babies. Except, if I had a real opportunity to have more babies would I do it all over again? All those sleepless nights and running after them in sacrament meeting. Oh boy. My kids are the best ages EVER. I love them so much. Maybe I'll just wait to be a Grandma. Oh don't you just love to smell those babies and how their little bottom fits right in your hand. 

Life has just gotten better and better. I mean it is ASU football season. My birthday weekend started with a bang. My Dad bought me four ASU tickets for my BIRFDAY. I came home to a special delivery. My Mom had left a BIG present on my counter. 
a few of my dearest friends. 

With my FAVORITE and very beautiful sister. 

I worked Friday but was utterly SPOILED by my class and my sister had flowers delivered to my work it was so fun. I had my kids Friday night and we got the free meal at Joe's. It was yum. We saw a movie and the next morning I went to Vegas for 24 hours with Spanish Sassafras. That is a whole blog post in itself from our pit stop at Down East basics to our midnight run to In-N-Out and looking like Amish women even though we were both wearing black leather.
 We saw Ed Sheeran. He was amazing. Then we drove home. I can't find the other pictures!  We went to the fireside and afterwards my friend Gary and Spanish Sassafras threw a little party afterwards. I think everyone had a lot of fun. It was JUST PERFECT.  So it was an exciting weekend and I felt so loved. I have this great group of girlfriends boy do they make life great. So I am getting older but I feel like I am picking up the pieces of my lego house. To quote one of my favorite gingers. Oops I filmed it wrong. Here's Ed singing Lego house...


My life is full and beautiful. XOXO The Sunny D