HAIR

I love sunshine.

I have the best hair dresser. I recently cut around four inches off of my hair. It is healthy and thick again. A few years ago I went platinum blond. I was in the platinum stage for several years.See------------->

It was beautiful, but expensive and high maintenance. They say when you do something drastic to your hair it is indicative of the mental state you are in.

I was newly single and wanted a change. I guess that would explain my mental state at the time? Of course then I think, things could have definitely been worse...ala Britney.Poor girl.

The thing I noticed about being platinum was men didn't take me seriously. I'm serious. It was also like they had this preconceived notion I was "easy." It was weird. I gradually went back to my naturalish color. Much less high maintenance. In fact I hadn't had my hair dyed for 9 months. It was time. 

Well, back to my hairdresser. She gives me her old magazines which I love. It is intellectually stimulating reading, headlining news, very important event type, publication. US magazine.In it there is a section where celebrity's give quotes of the week.

Nicole Richie said this, (BTW I have always liked Nicole Richie)

"I don't even know who she is singing about....but I hate him and anyone else who's ever upset her." On Taylor Swift.

It is so true. At least she actually writes songs about it instead of internalizing it all and then having a Britneyesque melt down. 

The End.

Love, Work, Be Kind to Others and Yourself

The most flattering pictures are the best

 I have been so busy lately that I feel like I haven't even had the chance to sit and think. I am not sure if this is healthy or not. Probably not. I am happily and anxiously engaged teaching. Today I taught Linking Verbs Yoga. The kids were restless at the end of the day and so I made them all stand up around the room, they had to say a linking verb and then breathe in deeply and hold the yoga pose for 10 seconds. We got through about five poses before they started chatting and I made them sit down. I think I have found a key here to learning though. One can only sit for so long. Especially when one is 9 or...in my case 35.

I took a Yoga class Tuesday night and it was wonderful, I felt the tension in my shoulders relax! A Coldplay song came over the ipod and for some reason tears started to flow out of my eyes. I was tired and embarrassed, but I have heard yoga can do this to people sometimes. It may also have had something to do with hormones.  I was surrounded by three beautiful women friends. Yet, I did not want them to see. I had a heaviness about me that I couldn't shake off.

Then next day my sweet children went to their Dad's. I was exhausted from the week, I am still adjusting to working full time and all of the pro's and con's of it. I decided I needed to head to the temple. I needed some peace of mind. I was so tired I almost bagged it, and went home to bed. I am glad I didn't. I found that as I was serving others, I received the relief I needed. I literally felt the weight of all my "problems" lift.

It is so evident to me how much "self care" is taking a role in my life. I have to concentrate on balancing my life because of the few spare minutes I have each day. As I have tried to balance certain aspects of my life I find that I have peace and am relaxed. I am calm and can have fun. I notice that I look forward to the time I get to spend with my own children. In fact, I can't wait for it. Tuesday I went to yoga, Wednesday I went to the temple, today I worked form 7am-6pm and then drove straight to my cousins where I chopped a chunk of hair off. It feels so much lighter and healthy and pretty. I also had a FULL highlight job which I haven't had in 9 MONTHS, because I couldn't afford it. My sweet cousin has been a blessing to me, helping me with my hair so I could get by. As it started to really grow out I noticed a new spattering of grays among ashy blond hair, which began to give me the overall look of a regular old field mouse. Looking like a field mouse is never compatible with SINGLE 35 year old woman who enjoys dating. So I have met physical needs, spiritual needs and emotional needs because you get to visit at the salon. Plus my Mom was there for the first part so that was fun. 

I can't wait for the three day weekend. I have all of these fun idea's up my sleeves. One of them is laying on the couch and watching movies and snuggling with my kids. I hope it warms up a little because I'd like to spend some time outside, hiking, or at the park, or a picnic. SOMETHING as long as the sun and grass and me and the kids are involved. 

I'm pretty lucky. I am lucky to have truly found happiness. I feel like my heart is bursting open with sunshine streaming out of it. I have found the key to joy and it is a simple formula. Love, Work, be Kind to others and yourself. That's it. 

It's a good life. 

Two Boys and Prom 1995

Prom 1995

What I wish I knew in 1995, or 1996, 1997 .....and 1998.

Boys. I just loved boys. I thought they were so....great! I was not in short supply of boys, I had a great group of friends. I had a group of boys I hung around all the time, we were in sports together. We were all runners. It was a happy, carefree time. There are several boys that stand out in my mind from high school, in fact there are FOUR. However, right now I am only going to tell you about two. 

There was the rebel without a cause. He was tall, and I met him at work. He had two earrings, hoops. It was 1995. He died his hair blue, sometimes shaved it bald, grew huge chops, and he had a tattoo. He wore one of those big chains that hook from your belt loop to your wallet and hung down the side of your pants. We were both into grunge music. He had an old 1970's baby blue Chevy truck and he wore black Doc Martins and flannel shirts. In other words, He was EVERY MOTHER'S WORST  NIGHTMARE. I found him intriguing and different from the boys I knew. The clean cut boys. It was at this time that I learned I had a "thing" for bad boys, old trucks, motorcycles, and tattoos. The funny thing is..this boy had a thing for Molly Mormons like myself. He came to church with me a few times, we went out on dates, and had "deep, REALITY BITES type" philosophical conversations. There were a few other things about him, like the fact that he told me once I was like a PIECE OF MEAT. That should have been the first red flag. This boy and I were just friends, but the intrigue I had for him because he was so different...so different from me and I had him wrapped around my little finger and I knew it. 

Then, there was the guitar player, the swimmer. We went to Senior Prom together. He was kind and very eager. We went to a Weezer concert, he played the guitar for me and had long chats on the phone. We sang out loud to songs on the radio and he could really sing. He actually had a job for Central Christian Church playing in their band on Sunday, even though he was Mormon. We ate at Red Robin and he was as sweet as can be. He was kind and I think I was the first girl he fell for, and for some reason this bugged me. He would call me up and ask me if I wanted to go get ice cream and I would say I was busy, even though I wasn't. I just didn't want to hang out with him. He told me his parents were twelve years apart in age and for some reason this grossed me out so much. I just kept thinking about how when his Dad was 12, his Mom was just born. For me, this was the kicker. He went ALL out for prom this poor sweet boy. We went to the lake and water skied all day. Then he brought me home and I got ready for Prom. A few hours later he picked me up and he had a corsage that had half a dozen roses on it! I mean HOLY COW I had a whole bouquet on my arm. (His Dad later called me because I broke this boys heart and told me how he poured over the flowers trying to find just the right corsage)

*****AND THIS IS WHERE I WANT TO TAKE MY BRATTY 17 YEAR OLD SELF AND SHAKE HER BY THE SHOULDERS AND YELL AT HER!!! THIS IS EXACTLY THE BOY YOU SHOULD BE FALLING FOR!!!!!! Little snot nosed brat! 

Because instead of feeling bad, I had a TWINGE of guilt. I was more annoyed that he had his Dad call me in the first place.  Back to Prom Night, he took me to a very fancy dinner. We had a fun little group of friends. We danced the night away and on the way home, I fell asleep in the car. Truly. I was exhausted! (So rude!) We reached my home and he walked me to the door, I invited him in for a minute because I felt bad I had fallen asleep. He was acting weird. Really Weird. I knew, as I had been in this situation before it was because he wanted to kiss me. Now. My seventeen year old diva self was going to have non of that. So when I got tired I declared, "Well, time for you to go." I walked him to the door and he stepped out onto the porch. I said, "Thanks, goodnight!" and promptly shut the door after him without a second thought, changed and snuggled into my comfy bed.

Oh. BROTHER. 

I never saw the first boy again. He turned out to be creepy started drinking with his Mom, smoking and who knows what other kinds of stuff. I then developed a taste for REFORMED bad boys that carried me into college. The second, sweet boy I ran into at school one day. He was handsome and had returned home from a successful mission to Moscow. I could see a twinge of embarrassment as I confidently walked up and said, Hi! How are you? I could FEEL the insecurity radiating from him. We talked for a minute, an in that minute I confirmed to myself that I MOST CERTAINLY had made a good choice in blowing HIM off. 

Many years later. I wish I could go back, I wish I could be a little softer, kinder,  and given that poor boy a little kiss. What would it hurt, really? He was trying so hard. After all I have been through in my life I have learned that I would give anything, ANYTHING to have a man treat me as kindly, thoughtfully as this sweet boy did. He must have learned from a Dad who waited a very loooong time to meet his sweetheart. See, because this boy, this second boy truly knew how to treat a girl. I on the other hand, have learned to appreciate men like this one. The quiet ones, the smart ones, the not so confident ones, the shy ones. I flash them a smile every time I get a chance. I guess I am trying to make up for that stupid girl and on some level. In a very small way letting them know that they are wonderful. 

Prepare Every Needful Thing

One of my concerns about working full time again was the supper situation. I have made a commitment to myself that I would feed my family healthy meals. So, on Saturday I cooked ALL day long. I canned  a few dozen jars of beans (black and white) and made eight freezer dinners. I have about eight more dinners to prep. I had no idea it would take this long but I am happy that I am prepared for the next few weeks of school. I got a lot of my recipe's from here http://www.lovingmynest.com/crock pot recipe's.

I also made a few more dishes, a Mexican casserole that I split up into two lunches and one dinner, turkey meatballs, and chicken pot pie filling. After being on my feet a lot the last few days my leg has been super achy. The one with the pretty vein. So this was me later that night with my compression sock on. I love LOVE LOOOOOOOOOVE (that is an opera singing voice love) my new Under Armor Compression pants. Simply the best. A must have for all day cooking, or exercise take your pick. Now, with my first paycheck I am going to buy a NEW crock pot!! My crock pot is well loved and missing its dial and LID! I am almost, pretty sure I lost the lid at a church function and have been covering the top with tin foil every time I use it. So YAY, new crock pot for me!