If Mama Ain't Happy........

Ten minutes to get ready for church....no problem......left over make-up from date the night before...check. I know that is gross and I promise I washed my face.

Bring it 2016

This year has brought many welcome changes. I started a new job and my children are able to come to school with me. This has all sorts of advantages and disadvantages. The advantages are I am becoming more of the Mom I always hoped I would be. I am able to hold my children's hands as they walk to class. Something I think they always needed but I couldn't do working at a different school. Maybe it is really something I always needed. I can peek at them during recess, sneak them a little star burst treat at lunch..hug them in the hallway... things Moms do. I am able to help them with their homework every day and I feel like I am hands on and involved in their education. It is the most wonderful thing. My love for them grows exponentially. 

A disadvantage is......starting a new job and wanting to do well along with helping my children to be successful has taken its toll on the Momma. Momma is tired. I am tired. I have also re-picked up some not so great habits that have not served me well. It is time for a change. A great time to look at life and make some new goals is the beginning of every year. I think those New Year, New Me slogans are dumb. Instead I am looking to do some refining.

Refinement

Balance. I need more balance. I need to take time for self care, exercise, and emotional support. Physical and Emotional Balance are two areas that are off kilter and I have made it a goal to spend a little more time on me and less time worrying or feeling guilty about it. The truth is when I am exhausted and I help everyone else get what they need but neglect myself it leads to me being miserable. If I am miserable chances are everyone in my house is too. That will change. I think 2016 will be a great year. 

XOXO- The Sunny D 

She is Messy but She's Kind..............

My Favorite Boy.

Sarah Barielles has a new album out called, Songs From Waitress. There are so many songs on the album that I can identify with. There is one about dating that sums up exactly how I feel in every way. There is a song about the possibilities of the future. There is a song about that moment you become a mother. It brings tears to my eyes, it is so tender and real. My favorite song on the album is called She Used to be Mine. You can click on the link and give it a listen. Let me know what you think. This song has made me think a lot about who I used to be and who I am now. Here are the lyrics the chorus...OH THE CHORUS!!! 

It's not simple to say
That most days I don't recognize me
That these shoes and this apron
That place and it's patrons
Have taken more than I gave them
It's not easy to know
I'm not anything like I used to be
Although it's true
I was never attention's sweet center
I still remember that girl

She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine

It's not what I asked for
Sometimes life just slips in through a back door
And carves out a person
And makes you believe it's all true
And now I've got you
And you're not what I asked for
If I'm honest I know I would give it all back
For a chance to start over
And rewrite an ending or two
For the girl that I knew

Who'll be reckless just enough
Who'll get hurt but
Who learns how to toughen up when she's bruised
And gets used by a man who can't love
And then she'll get stuck and be scared
Of the life that's inside her
Growing stronger each day
'Til it finally reminds her
To fight just a little
To bring back the fire in her eyes
That's been gone but it used to be mine

Used to be mine
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine

This month has been a hum dinger with work responsibilites, finances, children and their needs, church responsibilities, kids evening concerts, holiday parties the list goes on and on. I can honestly say there wasn't a moment that I had to myself. I slept like a ton of bricks. The minute my head hit the pillow I was out and nearly everyday awoke to the alarm ringing disoriented and wondering what day of the week it was.

Most days I look in the mirror and don't recognize the aging face I see looking back at me.  The days slip by one by one and I am so caught up in the raising of my children and teaching children that I lose myself completely. Before I know it a month has gone by without time for a single work out, the edges are frayed and if you look closely you can see that the nail polish is chipped, the roots are really grown out, there is a bit of weight where there once wasn't any. The saddest thing I think is being so mired in the work that the dreams I once held dear don't even occur to me. Dating is something I would like to do and I am wondering where that would all fit.

She Used to.........

Travel the world
exercise every day
Had time to do the chores, the dishes, the laundry
Her hair done and dressed nicely

She once dreamed about a Masters
in Art History to teach classes
at the local Community College

She took naps
had pretty make-up
a decorated house and dishes that matched

She's traded clothes shopping at Anthro for clothes shopping at Costco
Shopping trips, personal trainers
Fancy lunches and vacations
Are things of the past

She laughed easily
loved voraciously
wasn't afraid of anything really

She was in the drivers seat
the one in control

She works endless hours to clothe and feed the babies that are hers
Homework, lesson plans, reports, concerts, practices, driving here and there takes much patience and balance of the schedule
A day of rest is one to do laundry, catch up on chores, no time for naps anymore
There are needs to be met and none of them are hers

She must work through every break and lunches
to make sure when the children
see her after school she is ready to help them,
and then home to make dinner,
Scriptures and family prayer

Until all she sees is a grey blur of the life that is hers but isn't hers
Because she gave it away
And she'll do it again day by day

She gives up almost every singles activity
Schedules change and last minute she plans accordingly
Who she is now is not who she used to be

I don't think the things I love will never happen again. I feel like I will travel to far away lands, enjoy art museums but it is just tabled. My life isn't about me anymore. The person I used to be was self centered and now there is no time for that. I know I need more balance and I am trying to figure that out again. These are the things that have to be done right now day in and day out. I love my children so much that I will happily give my life to helping them become the best they can be. After all, they are my life's work.


XOXO- The Tired Sunny D

True Tales from Classroom 118.....Fueled by Diet Coke

My Number One Student: Steve the class pet. He is very attentive. 

It is Christmas Break! All teachers across the nation are rejoicing. At least, this one is. I have finished my first half a year teaching second grade. After what feels like a lifetime teaching fourth grade there are some things I miss and some things I really love. I guess that is about true with most changes. I will never tire of the love notes found on my desk daily, or those little eager sparkling eyes waiting for my next lesson. 

Teaching Capacity

Capacity is an important lesson and one that can be applied in everyday life. In fact, I think most second grade math skills are ones I use a lot in every day life. A recap: Capacity if you remember is gallons, quarts, pints and cups. There are two half gallons, four quarts, eight pints, and sixteen cups in a gallon. One day I was in Fry's grocery store and an older woman walked up to me and asked me how many half gallons are in a gallon. (I must have looked very intelligent, ha) I had just taught this concept at school and I thought to myself, this is so sad that she does not know that there are two half gallons in a gallon. I said, "You asked the right person! There are two half gallons in a gallon."  She replied, "The half gallons are 88 cents and a gallon is $1.60. I am trying to figure out which one is the better deal." She said, "The gallon is cheaper!" I smiled and went on my way. 

I tell this story to my students every year. One half plus One half = One whole

I like to teach using everyday examples and make the learning REAL. So this week when we were learning how much a quart is I held up my beautiful Styrofoam cupped Diet Coke and said, "When you take your test and you are trying to decide which is bigger a gallon (and I pointed to a gallon of water we use to fill Steve's water bottle) or a quart, remember that Ms. Tidwell's Diet Coke is a quart. 32oz=Ms. Tidwell's Diet Coke=1 quart. 1 gallon=Steve's Water Refill Bottle.

There was a question on the test that read: How would you measure the amount of water in your kitchen sink? Gallons or Quarts? (Well you could technically use both....) However the answer we were looking for was gallons. Then the last test question read, Tell me why? I had SO many students answer, 

I would use gallons to measure the liquid in a kitchen sink because a sink holds more than Ms. Tidwell's Diet Coke, which is a quart. 

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEACHER WIN!

but wait it gets better........

It was the last day before break and one of my students brings me a 2 liter of Diet Coke with a big Christmas bow on it. He happily says, and it is 2 Liters! Which of course made my teacher heart SIIIIIIIING. That he knew the capacity. But it gets better.........

I sent his Mom a text thanking her for the coke and this was her reply:

A GALLON!! I love my job. 

XOXO- The Sunny D

My Christmas Boyfriend

I'm not really sure where the weeks are going. They are just gone and I am running at record breaking speed to keep up. I am trying to train for a half marathon...it's going.... very well. I mean if working all the time and running your kids places counts as training and not actually running then I am ahead of the game here.  I know the last post I talked about how thankful I was and that is pretty much obligatory for November, right?

Here is how Thanksgiving morning really started. I signed up for the Mesa Turkey Trot. I met my friend Emilynn there. She actually trained for this race so she was ready. I on the other hand was hoping to finish in one piece. I hadn't had time to run once in weeks. I mean let's just go and run six miles, no problem. So, we hit the honey buckets and then snuck in near the starting line of the race. I had a brand new armband to hold my phone. I noticed everyone around me had these snazzy bluetooth earphones. I've always sort of been behind the times on stuff like that. I plugged my earphones in and began to run. Except, my music wasn't coming through?! I fiddled with my armband a bit to get the music on and right when I hit mile one I realized I had lost my car key somewhere along the race. It had fallen out of my armband. Now I was on a schedule, I only had so much time to run because my family was eating dinner at noon. A detail I had not managed to get until the day before but I figured a plan out. A Thanksgiving Day schedule which put me in near panic attack mode as I had told my friend I would run with her. How had I over scheduled my day off? So when I realized my key had fallen out I had two options.

Option 1: Keep running the race and hope someone turned it in...except that would definitely make me late for Thanksgiving dinner.

Option 2: Re-run mile one until I found the key.

I chose option 2.

I ran mile 1 three and a half times and never found the key. It was at this point I called to my parents crying. I talked to my Mom who talked to my Dad and he was off to my house with the spare house key at their house to get my spare car key at my house. My Dad got the key and drove across town to deliver it to me in record time.

Thanksgiving Day was saved. I realized that I had a lot to be thankful for because my Mom and Dad really help me out of a lot of jams. Even stupid ones where your key falls out of your armband and you only run half the race but are still proud of the four total miles you logged because..hey at least that's something.

I wanted Christmas time to be a special time with my kids. My idea of what Christmas looks like is a lot different these days. I feel happy to get a few presents and bake a batch of cookies. I'm not sending out cards this year and I put up just a few key decorations. Rocky ( Elf on the Shelf) showed up and has managed to change places every night except one. I have the advent calendar up and filled with small treats, presents, activities, and acts of service for all of the days leading to the 24th. It took a good two hours to get that in order. I also have the hot chocolate, cider, and herbal tea station set up. So for my little household things are festive.

As for me I have been filling my lonely nights with Hallmark Channel Christmas romances that make even the most emotionally healthy single woman want a prozac salt lick. I have nearly watched every single one available on Netflix. I'm not sure if that is such a great idea because they make it look all easy finding a man like just live your life and the man of your dreams will show up and make all of your Christmas dreams come true. For the record, that has yet to happen to me. So there's that.  Let me just say it isn't that I don't try. I do. For example, I lived my life this week working and taking care of the children. I was out in the community at my kids Christmas concert this week. I had to work one of the nights and watch my class before and after the show.

See here are my cute kids participating. Now, according to Hallmark I should have bumped into Mr. Perfect backstage as I was ushering my class to sing. Or maybe he would catch me as I was slipping on ice as I walked to my car except I live in Arizona and I am not clumsy. Neither of those things happened. I'm starting to think Hallmark is a hoax.

Or. I was going to go to a singles activity on Friday to see Christmas lights. According to Hallmark that would be a very good place to find your Christmas boyfriend. Except, my children's Father called to tell us he would be out of town until Saturday evening and could I keep the kids. Of course I can keep the kids but there goes my boyfriend plan right out the window. BUT THEN, my Dad texted that his neighborhood was having their Christmas block party and we should come. PERFECT.

According to Hallmark: FAMILY+COMMUNITY ACTIVITY=PERFECT CHRISTMAS BOYFRIEND. I was really happy about the fact that dinner was covered for the kids and a fun, free activity to enjoy. We all had a really fun time and the only available man I saw there was my little brother Steven. Hallmark Christmas Movies Lie.

At least we had a fun week together my children and I.

Here are a few things I want for Christmas besides Hallmark Boyfriend.

1. Blue tooth ear buds

2. Good old black Havaianas...I wore my last pair out

There's still hope, Hallmark Boyfriend where ever you are...I bet you are just a UPS man that is going to show up with these two things. 

XOXO- The Sunny D