Fake vs. Real

So the other day I came across this AMAZING tub/shower. It was literally SO awesome I had to have a picture sitting in it. Now this is the picture I would probably post to social media because it says: CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING BATHROOM...and my super cute heels. You all know I LOOOVE a cute pair of shoes. 

However what you wouldn't see was the next picture where I hit the faucet with my super cute heel and turned on the water...then slipped in my scramble to not get soaking wet in my clothes and said some sort of not nice word equivalent to crap. 

There you have it folks Social Media Vs. Reality are you digging the double chin? You know that is only there because I am squished in a corner. 

A Real conversation with a five year old. One of my favorite five year olds in fact:

Harlow: Mom you took up all the time talking to Dior and now I don't have a chance to talk to her. 

Em: I am sorry Harlow but she just came over to fix some tax stuff, you know like homework and now she has to go.

Me: Harlow what did you want to tell me? 

Harlow: Do you know why I am sick? 

Me: No, why?

Harlow: Because Abdul (or something like that) in my class has really really bad breath and he BREATHED on me and it made me sick. (Em and I bursting out laughing.) 

Me: That is bad. Maybe you should tell him he has stinky breath? 

Harlow: Nodding and scrunching her nose...it is really bad. 

Then more discussion about how to get the highest score in behavior at school......hugs...and off I went. 

That is Real. Brush your teeth folks. 

XOXO- The Sunny D

I Give Up

My week at a glance

I started a new job this year teaching second grade. My children moved to the school where I teach and it is wonderful. There are so many good things. This week I was so excited because I had parent teacher conferences. I LOVE parent teacher conferences! I love sitting with the parents one-on-one and talking to them about their kids. I really enjoy getting to know them. I also really enjoy it when they bring me Diet Cokes, except no one knows me at the new school so no Diet Cokes. Insert frowny emoji here.

You probably don't know this unless you are a teacher. It takes a lot of preparation to have those conferences. So the week before last I was grading and finalizing grades for report cards. I was testing students and putting portfolios together. I was working a lot of extra hours. I ended up working most of the weekend last weekend organizing everything and getting it just so. I want to be prepared when I meet those parents you know.

I had conferences every morning before school and after school until five. So Monday morning I woke up SUPER early to get dressed, do my hair...no buns this week! I was getting ready to make a protein shake for breakfast when I heard this.........

CRACK, Slush, Slurp...Shlop down the stairs. 
with an OH. CRAP. 

It was one of my children carrying a bowl of VOMIT down the stairs. A bowl of vomit in which he spilled ALL over the first landing. The morning of my first set of parent teacher conferences at a new school.

It was the perfect analogy for my week. 

So I scrambled to get him to my parents house to be watched because I couldn't take the day off, it was CONFERENCE WEEK. Thank goodness for my parents this week! Seriously. They get the SAINT award. The rest of the week went kind of like that. Except for the actual meeting of the parents and teaching and being a Mom of course. It was a lonnnnnnng week. I had already logged 40 hours for the week midway through Thursday.

If I was smart I should have not worried about making dinner and gotten Pei Wei or something. So I could at least have a little fortune cookie good luck. Except I ALWAYS get the cookie that says, "You  will have a lucrative sports career." So then that wouldn't have even cheered me up. Unless, eating a whole bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos over the course of a week counts as a sport. Or maybe kickball...I can play kickball against second graders and win. At least that's a start.


I give up.

XOXO- The Sunny D

Filling Life's Gaps

Sometimes I feel like I have rocks behind my eyes they ache so much. The last few weeks I have been in this new and exciting space in my life. I am learning so much it is literally mind boggling. Things are harder than ever but I have had so much help from my parents and my sister and support from my friends. I have been thinking a lot about the concept of grace lately. I guess to me grace has always meant that if I do my best God will help me make up the rest. I'm sure I have written about this topic already but it is one that I think about a lot. Mostly, because I feel especially in this moment of my life that I need grace more than ever. I see where I am and where I need to go, however I am not sure how it is humanly possible for me to get there on my own. If feels a lot like this picture. 

I must first say thank you to all of the people who have been that rope getting me from point A to point B. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. 

Today at church we sang I Stand all Amazed this line stood out to me, "Confused at the grace that so fully he proffers me." It seemed fitting for this last week. It brought up thoughts of this book I read by Sheri Dew called Amazed by Grace and especially this part. It talks about the power we can draw from our Heavenly Father. His power can aid us in anything we need, can fill any gap, can make the wrongs right. I highly recommend this book. I should re-read it. 

Important things I have learned:

When your mind won't rest..... exercise. 

I write these post card notes to my students. I like to tell them how wonderful I think they are. One of my second grade boys walked up to me at the end of the day. He pulled out a nubby  soft edged, wrinkled, dirty postcard I had written to him weeks ago. He said sheepishly, "Ms. Tidwell I pull this note out of my pocket every day on the bus and read it as we ride home." My heart swelled. Who knew? Who knew that a few kind words would mean so much? Then I thought...... do I do that enough. Do I say kind things to people enough? Even little things make a big difference. 

My kids fight with each other in the back seat of my car. After a long day at work its enough to push me over the edge. It turns me from a loving mother and second grade teacher to a bright green, black haired, screeching witch.  I have found a SOLUTION! We have been listening to books on tape on my iphone. It is genius because my kids can add the books to the list of books they are reading in school. They are learning reading fluency, tempo, and expression! AND they are so quiet they listen intently and as soon as we get in the car they can't wait to hear the next part in the story! It's like this scramble to get the app turned on. 

A few books we have enjoyed:

Wonder

The Julian Chapter (separate book after Wonder)

Ella Enchanted

It is the best ten dollars spent a month! Audiobooks have saved my commute. 

XOXO- The Sunny D

My Masters Degree in Dating

  

  

   

We wear Funyun glasses, therefore we are smart. 

I have nearly been divorced for five years. Five Years. That means I earned my B.A. last year and in January I will graduate with my Masters in the subject. Certainly I should at least get a certificate, or a cookie or something. Maybe a boyfriend? Maybe. The one thing I can be sure of is I have studied up on this subject more during these five years than I ever have in my life. I have had intense hours with study groups (girlfriends and friend boys) discussing this topic of dating. I have analyzed my relationships, my friends relationships, what this means, what that means, what outfit to wear, weight loss, weight gain and its impact on dating, getting older, dating Mormons, dating Non-Mormons, Tinder, set-ups, LDS Planet, Singles Activities, what shoes to wear, how the dates went, or didn't go. Trust me when I say I am an expert.

In fact I have dated much more than I ever did than the first time around and here is what I have
learned.


YEAR ONE: 
If I were you I wouldn't date the first year after the divorce. I get it. You want to meet people and have friends but the thing is you aren't emotionally ready to date. I wasn't and I dated and I wish I had given myself a chance to breathe. I see it all the time and the new divorcee's are easy to spot. At least the new ones who are not emotionally ready in my opinion. You see a lot of "quote" posts about love and second chances. It is better to build a group of friends. That is what I think at least.



 Single Parties/Activities......
Where do I start? I am not sure if anyone really meets anyone that ends in a marriage at these things. I am also not sure if anyone is really that interested in dating seriously. My personality isn't one that necessarily does well at these types of activities. In large groups I'm not loud. I don't command attention in fact I more of a wall flower. I usually pick a comfy spot to sit and see who comes to visit. Someone recently said to me, "Oh, so you are an elitist." I am not a snob. No. That isn't it at all and I know for a fact that anyone you talk to who knows me will vouch for my ability to hold a great conversation. Something weird happens to me in those situations, it is like I get a case of social anxiety that only occurs at Adult Single Parties. My advice to you is this, go to activities you actually like then you will feel happy afterward. As a single parent there are SO many things that take priority over singles parties so be choosy. I hate leaving a singles party thinking that time would have been better spent mopping my kitchen floor. However, if I go to an activity I like and I meet new friends I feel recharged. The singles activities that I like the best are firesides and active type activities where you play a sport or game. That way my brain is preoccupied and focused on the activity rather than thinking about how awkward it is to be almost forty but feel like I have re-entered high school. Except everyone has wrinkles and is old.

To Self Promote or Not Self Promote That is the Question
I was told that I don't self promote enough on social media. Ok for one who has time for that? I don't know about you but I am raising kids and working. I don't need another BA in How to Market Oneself.  Posting what I am doing or where I am going will not interest you. Trust me. It would look like this Check in at work, check in at Fry's, Check in at the Bank, Scouts, Achievement Days......WHO CARES. Plus, do you really need a picture of me at all of these places? Or how about...ran 3 miles today. Now, I'm not saying don't do those things I'm just saying is it necessary to do those things EVERYDAY?? In my opinion social media, tracking, and texting have ruined dating.

See. I run too. 

The Best Place To Get Dates:

Drum Roll Please.........

They are all good, on-line sites, attending worthwhile activities, getting set up, even Tinder. I have a friend who met her husband on Tinder. I have met so may good men in many different places. The key is you have to do the work. You have to go on dates to learn what you like and don't like. I feel that the best dates are the ones where friends set you up. SO HOLLA FOLKS.....if you have single gal or guy you know set them up with someone else you know. I like that the best. That way you get a personal recommendation for the person and a little background information. I have a love hate relationship with online dating. I hate it but I really don't have much time for anything else. SO I get off for three months and think....I should date so I sign up again, go on lots of dates....then I get frustrated and delete my account for three months...it's a cycle. 

Have Faith in the Plan and Enjoy Today:

There are days I want to throw in the towel on dating. There are days I wonder what is wrong with me, what is wrong with the men, why am I here, why have I been divorced for so long, is there something I am not doing right. The thoughts circle and circle around in my melon. I get mad at my situation, I think that things should not be like this and then I think

BUT THEY ARE. 

They are like this and I get to decide if I am going to be cheerful or a jerk. I get to decide if I am going to trust Heavenly Father and his plan for me and my family. IF I will trust the things he has told me and promised me. I decide that. I get to decide a lot of things actually. So, it is a continual CHOICE to be in the present and be cheerful and help others along the way. You know who needs help...you've probably been through a lot......... be a helper. 

Some More Stuff I Know:

Have you ever read something and have it hit you in the chest and you recognize it as the truth? It happens a lot when I read the scriptures but I also believe that TRUTH is TRUTH. I was reading a book called, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane when I came across this:

“Open your heart. Someone will come. Someone will come for you. But first you must open your heart.” 

― Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

It isn't very easy to open your heart but you must do it. I must do it too. It isn't always easy. I also cried as I read the section in the book about opening our heart. It is time. 

More Truth:

Focus on the BIG THINGS not the little dumb inconsequential things. If the person you are dating has all the big things I think they really deserve a chance a REAL chance. Remember when I said I dated that first year and I shouldn't have? I think I discounted some men who had the big things. I focused on stupid things that don't matter and that was because I wasn't ready. I also believe everyone deserves two dates. Unless they are a total creep of course. You know the first date is always so awkward and your date could be nervous or you could be nervous, so always go on a second date. After all as a divorcee I am hoping for a second chance I think that should apply to dates also. 

Lastly, Don't give up hope in second chances, in being someones tender mercy or having one of your own. It happens all the time so why not you and me? I love this last quote......be filled with expectancy..be awash in hope. 

“You must be filled with expectancy. You must be awash in hope. You must wonder who will love you, whom you will love next.” 

― Kate DiCamillo, The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane

XOXO- Good luck doing the work my single friends!You're perfect match is out there.  The Sunny D

1995 Graduates Mesa High School 20 Year Reunion

It came in the form of a Facebook invite. It was time for my twenty year high school reunion. I really couldn't believe it, had it already been ten years since the last one? It had. After all the year was 2015 and I graduated in 1995. I had many thoughts run through my head about why I shouldn't go. I wanted to go because I wanted to see all of my old friends but I had these creeping thoughts in the back of my brain as to why I should sit this one out.

Like:

Who would I go with I am divorced. UGH I feel like the last ten years of my life have been some of the most difficult. BLECH.
Why does that fact alone make me feel like I am less than?
I need to lose twenty pounds.
Maybe I should get Botox.
What would I wear?

Then life set in and I forgot about the whole shebang and the next thing I knew it was the week of and I hadn't done Botox because let's face it I had to pay my house payment. I didn't lose 20 pounds, I gained ten because life as a single Mom doesn't always allow for work out time. Unless, I get up at 4:45 and that's for the birds in my opinion. I am still divorced there really isn't much I can do about that. So I decided to focus on what I could. I found a cute dress and my friend came to my house and gave me a spray tan. I also had a great friend who came to the rescue. Neither of us were super excited to go but thought that maybe if we could go together we would have fun. So we did. We bought our tickets an hour after the ticket sales closed and I am so glad!

My awesome friend Phil who came to the reunion with me. Aren't awesome friends the best?

My darling friend Anika. I am kicking myself that these are the only two pictures I took!!

Left to right: Holly, Dior, Mindy graduation night 1995

In the year 1995 I was idealistic about life and my future. I thought I had everything figured out and I was excited. The beautiful thing about life is things rarely go the way you think they are going to go. There are tons of set backs but through those set backs you learn who you are and what you are really made of. You become an adult. The education that life brings is so much more because you get to apply what you know and it is not easy. The wonderful thing about attending my twenty year reunion was seeing first hand all of these people who have been mellowed and made better through time. There were Mom bods and Dad bods. There were grey hairs and baldness. There were couples holding hands and couples who had remarried since the last reunion. There were friends who had been battling sickness, kids who were struggling, never married, divorce, new babies, kids graduating, job losses and so much more. SO MUCH MORE. We were bonded together because we have all experienced a little bit of life. It was kind of spectacular. I loved sitting with old friends and talking, really seeing them and how they have grown as a person. I wish more people had come. I wish I could have sat with each person there and talked about life and found out how they were doing. I felt this overwhelming feeling of gratitude for these old friends. I belonged to this, I belonged to the class of 1995. We all did. I felt like every person in that room was remarkable for who they were the experiences they have had and the many lessons they had all learned since the day we graduated. I wish I could let everyone there into my brain for a minute. I wish I could show them what I saw. How I see them and how astounding each and every one of them are. There was no cool group, jock group, nerdy group, smart group, drama group,...we were THE GROUP. What a sight to behold and one that made my heart fill with joy! Thank you to everyone who helped put the night together it was so fun. I hope we have as good or a better turn out for the thirty year reunion.

If I could talk to my 17 year old self on graduation night and give her some advice about the future I think I would tell her to carry on.

CARRY ON MESA HIGH, CARRY ON. XOXO- The Sunny D

You Are Awkward

I am teaching second grade now and I am learning a lot. Today I learned that I am awkward. Tell me something I didn't already know. The conversation went like this:

2nd Grade boy: What is that thing around your waist?
Me/The Teacher: A belt?
2nd Grade boy: I don't get it. It's like really confusing to me. You look awkward.
Me: Ok.

Me in my very "awkward" outfit after school. 

I then later received this note on my desk.

This was from a second grade girl. So I surmised:

1. This is a perfect example between the differences between boys and girls

2. You can't please everybody

3. I'm no stranger to awkward

4. Second graders are really cute. 

A few other things I have overheard and learned. 

After a particularly trying morning one of my students said cheerily, "Nothings ever gonna wipe this smile off my face." My mood instantly changed because I laughed. 

Skipping is by far the best way to get from point A to point B

It is ok to cry when school is hard. School IS hard. I am sorry I am a teacher that makes you work really hard! I cry too when the day is too much. 

Sneakily making a craft in your desk while I am teaching will get you nowhere....especially not to recess. Knock it off. 

Reading Pete the Cat and singing the shoe song like a blues singer is awesome. 

I want to go to the nurse and lie down too. 

AND for all you Mesa Public School Alumni.......read it and weep, Recess Bars for teachers only 

XOXO- The Sunny D