It All Comes Out In the Wash

A haircut. 

Do you ever just feel like you are totally drowning? I do. It has been a super busy couple of weeks.  I felt like my life was swirling around me and I was doing my very best to keep up. Not always in the best way either..sometimes a little more irritated than I should have been, and sometimes my usual sunny self. My last few weeks included parent teacher conferences, the kids Dad being out of town so LOTS of extra responsibilities, not to mention the thirty or more hours of work I needed to do on top of my job, boy scouts, gymnastics, pack meeting, the school carnival that was a success but literally nearly buried me six feet under, a book report due and me running everyone everywhere. Luckily, I had some help a few nights. What would I ever do with out my Mom and Dad, my friends that walked with me at night and let me vent, sometimes REALLY MAD venting about the DUMB BOOK REPORT and one super great babysitter that took over Saturday evening while I literally checked out. ( AND I PAID $20 to help Aydan draw the comic strip of his book report which turned out WAY better than if I had ever helped him with it!)

The School Carnival/my class

My kids and their super cute friends

OH MAN. Love these girls. 

Saturday the weight of it all creeped in, my thoughts turned to what a witch I could be sometimes and how could I do better and then I cried because I didn't think I COULD do better. I was exhausted to the bone and I was beating myself up because I was so disconnected with everything. Exhaustion does that to me, I just mentally check out. It is like I get to the threshold and then its like whoop there she goes..gone. It's what my friends and I call the "fog" or basically a zombie like survival mode. I'd been in it for several days now. I was angry and Friday nights sleep was a ghost that came and went in the night filled with nightmares of the week that had past.

Saturday was piano practice and running errands, temper tantrums from my 9 year old, and some baking to try and feel like a REAL Mom again. It was me trying to lay down for ONE hour with my kids coming in a total of 4..... count them FOUR times for one reason or another. So scratch the so called desperately needed nap.

I had secured a babysitter. So I left to go to the Relief Society Broadcast, I drove alone but was greeted by two lovely, just as tired as I was, familiar and friendly faces. The Neapolitan Crew was intact. They had served dinner at four but all that was left when I arrived just before five was bread and jam. Which. I happily helped myself to because I realized I was super hungry. This is the important thing, when we try to do our best WE ARE SUPPORTED. There were several messages I needed to hear. I looked over at the strawberry part of our Neapolitan Crew and she was bent over rubbing her neck. I quickly began to rub her neck for her. As I did, I cried. I cried, and I cried because I felt those knots in her neck and back and I knew that I was not the only one who had had a hard week. I rubbed her back and scratched it and I could feel HER exhaustion and I was glad that for one minute, I wasn't a witch. Then the chocolate of our Neapolitan crew rubbed my back, and I cried some more because when you are alone you don't have anyone to rub your back at night and tell you it will be ok. Tomorrow will be better. You just don't. I cried because I felt support. Oh, I am the vanilla section of the Neapolitan crew. So then I, rubbed chocolates back and I felt her knots in her neck and back and I knew that she had a hard week too. We all had. Then I had some clarity, for a minute. The fog lifted and instead of being so angry I felt grateful. I felt peace. I was supported and I knew Heavenly Father blessed me with these women and we were together so we could help each other. I got home late and hopped into my bed where Ellie had snuck into earlier, she stirred and snuggled in close. I wrapped my arm around her and she kissed my hand and I cried. I cried because I was so lucky to be loved so unconditionally.

And so today was better. On the way to church my children and I had a talk about what promises are. We discussed what it meant to keep a promise and we discussed what promises they could keep this week. We decided to set a goal. They decided to keep their promise to practice the piano. I told them I loved them and I silently cheered from the way back of the church while they were in the Primary Program. I gave them a thumbs up after they said their parts and I blew kisses back to Ellie as she stood in the stands to wave at me and blow kisses when she should have been sitting and being reverent. I smiled a big smile at Aydan as I caught his eye on the stands so big and smart and reverent. After church I came home and made a little lunch for my kids and finally took that nap.

What happens when you have 15 minutes to kill before church? Little miss sassy red boots photo shoot.

Then a LESSON from Aydan to Ellie on how a GIRL should pose for a picture..he has no clue I took this. THEN what KILLS me is ELLIE trying her hardest TO COPY what he says!

 Mr. Cool somehow produced sunglasses...

Life is good. 

XOXO. The Sunny D

The Roast is Just OK

Ellie girl and I got pedicures together on Saturday..a little Momma/Daughter time

Have you ever just been in a slump?

It all started when my work cut my pay by 5%. It sort of just deflated me, and I am little worried as to how I would make up that extra $150 dollars each month. You know a teacher's salary isn't much to look at and with two small children at home that is a lot of money! 

I thought there must be a silver lining somewhere here. Right? 

But then, things just sort of started to pile up. The children's Father has been out of town so much this year. This translates to me having the children more. Which I love, but it sort of just backs everything up. Everything from my grading and planning and cleaning, and laundry....and CAN I JUST GO FOR A LITTLE RUN? Today I looked in the fridge and realized we were completely out of milk and the bread had gone moldy? So, rush out to the store for milk and bread....or some Lunchables for the kids to eat tomorrow. It feels like my life is spinning around me and I am just trying to follow along. 

 I did not have the kids for a whole week last week. You would think that I would get everything caught up? Right? Well, throw in parent teacher conferences and that equals a NO. This week I have the school carnival which makes me want to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself right now. I mean. I am sure when it comes time it will be fun, but there is the set up of the booth which I have to do, and then pickup my children and get them dressed for the night. I am sure I will have to fix Ellie's hair all within ONE HOUR. Then work at the booth the whole night.  IT JUST NEVER ENDS.

Monday morning I woke up feeling ok. I put a roast in the crock pot with some veggies and then on low to cook. By the time we got home after meeting with their step mom for 15 minutes, going to get haircuts and some french bread the roast had been cooking for 10 hours! Way too long and so it was just ok. 

The Sunny D is tired. XOXO. 

What to Expect For Your First Hot Yoga Class

This is right after my first hot yoga class. I am RED and DRENCHED. Not just sweaty I mean RING YOUR CLOTHES OUT DRENCHED WITH SWEAT. 

I had been to yoga before. I told you about my first yoga class, it was pretty much a success. I have done yoga in the past a few classes here and there. I love yoga for several reasons. It helps me to feel balanced, and I release stress from areas in my body that I don't usually reach with running or lifting weights. Like my lower back for instance. Plus, it helps limber up my legs, I have really tight IT bands. I always have and they can wreck havoc on my whole body if they get too tight. Anyway, here's how hot yoga went for me. 

I woke up for my early Saturday morning class. The instructions said NOT TO EAT first. So I didn't. 

I arrived thirty minutes early to fill out the paper work. Which basically says, If you die we are not liable. I signed it with a flourish. 

I waited for my friend who was supposed to meet me, she stood me up. Luckily, another friend we have in common came and so she kind of showed me the ropes. 

It was an hour and a half class. I was told to bring water, a towel, and my yoga mat. Which I did. 

I waited outside the class that was in session, when the doors opened and the class came out I was greeted with a gust of hot sweaty air. Then, a few men came out. One of them men's sweat dripped all over my foot. I was totally grossed out. 

There are some really cute yoga outfits out there. None of which I own. 

I found my spot in the room and got comfy, I kind of looked around to see what other people were doing, they were shaking out their legs and arms like they were getting ready to do some sprints. I flopped on my mat and lay down, I then noticed that everyone was covering their mats with these fancy towels. I spread my regular towel over my mat. The heat was turned up.

The class began, I easily followed the first few rounds. The heat was progressively turned up higher and higher. I watched some of the women in my class they were PROS. About half way through I was dizzy and so I laid down for a minute. The instructor would occasionally open the door and let in some Arizona air which felt like ice cold air conditioning. 

I noticed I was sweating more than I ever have in my life. Picture exercising in a sauna. Huge drops of sweat ran off of my head, down my legs and arms. I followed the class, modifying some of the yoga moves. I tried to do a back bend when they asked us to. I couldn't yet. That is my goal for next time. One girl did a back bend and then went into a sort of hand stand and would then kick her legs to the mirror and go back and forth and back and forth like a pendulum. I was in awe. 

I realized I was stronger than I thought I was. After the last part of stretching our legs and back muscles we were supposed to lay down for a rest. I felt like I had this huge brick under my back and I COULD NOT lie down flat on my back. I could hardly breathe. I tried to lay down on my side but I couldn't even do that. 

Finally it was time to go. I walked out of class, sat in my car and was happy. 

I went home and slept for two hours. 

I woke up and felt AWESOME, like all the yucky stuff in my body had been sweat out. 

I can not wait to go again! 

Who knew something that sounds so terrible could be so fun? 

XOXO-The Sunny D

Lifelong Learner My First Yoga Class

I went to Institute and Cool Cucumber met me with my FAV candy bar. So sweet. 

I am a lifelong learner. 

This means I do not believe, nor will I ever believe the falsehood that I am too OLD to learn new things. 

I began an Institute class a few weeks ago. The four gospels. It is every few weeks and I have enjoyed it so much. The instructor knows so much about not only the scriptures but also what was going on around that time socially and politically. It is so great. Tonight we were kind of back and forth between when the angel appeared to Mary and LUKE 2. I gained a new perspective on some things tonight. I have always revered Mary as one of the most influential and wonderful women there ever was. I mean first of all who rides a donkey for about a week straight and PREGNANT for the census? That takes some guts. Tonight I gained a deeper love and respect for Joseph as I came to learn about what it really meant to have a woman you were betrothed to become pregnant. It just kept hitting me that he was there to shelter her. He protected Mary in so many ways. As the teacher was talking thoughts were swirling their way through my mind. Am I like Mary? In some ways I am, I am a strong woman. I do my best to be obedient to the commandments. I know the Lord is pleased with me and my efforts even if they are not perfect a lot of the time, I really do try to do my personal best. I wondered could Mary have raised Jesus on her own? I think she probably could have. However, there was Joseph. He was thoughtful, he had opinions, he questioned and then he did the right thing. There are several times where it shows how he protected Mary and I thought how nice that would be. What is that like? Joseph was such a support to her. What is that like, I wondered. I mean there are moments when I knew what that was like, sort of. I have a Dad who is a support, but that is different than a spouse. It made me happy to read about this in the scriptures. I was so happy to learn more about Joseph and the really wonderful man he was. 

On Saturday I begin yoga practice. I am so excited because I am looking forward to the meditation, stress relief, muscle toning, and improved flexibility that yoga boasts to provide. Spanish Sassafras and I are going to go together, it is a hot yoga class. 

When I was in college my cousin Aubree and I took some exercise classes at MCC. We had so much fun trying all of the different aerobics classes. I remember one night we decided to try out yoga. Yoga was pretty new, I mean all we had heard about it was Madonna thought it was the best thing ever. We went to an evening class and it was the oddest thing I had EVER been to in my life. As we inhaled deeply and then moved into twisty pretzel pose after twisty pretzel pose except NOT very gracefully. I probably looked like a Giraffe trying to do yoga. We tried our best but then there was one pose that we were both trying to do but ended up like weeble wobbles and ran into each other. Which then we erupted into a fit of giggles which out YOGA instructor did NOT think was very funny. She ended up scolding us grumbling, "YOU are RUINING the KARMA in here, PLEASE LEAVE!" Which made us burst into a fit of hysterics as we left the class as fast as we could. 

I am hoping this Saturday's class goes a little bit better than that first one. 

To not being afraid to learn new things! 

XOXO-The Sunny D

In the Mean Time...Single Mom's Life at a Glance

I waxed my friends back for a pool party. I am not kidding it was probably one of the most gratifying things ever. Talk about instant gratification with sound effects. OUGH! OH! OW! YOW! My first time waxing someones back was awesome!

Sometimes I can cook. I used to make the most delicious meals. I mean I had time and I had talent to do it. Now dinners seem to consist of taco's, bean burro's, waffles...easy stuff. This was easy and delicious three tomato sauce homemade of course, pesto and parm. YUM. My kids complained. Too many tomatoes. 

I went to the Grand Canyon and I saw this in REAL LIFE. In fact I saw the whole herd cross the street AND the BUCK which had an 8 point antler. IT WAS AMAZING! I am still in awe over that day, you should have seen Bright Angel Trail at the Grand Canyon. Before we went to lunch it was sunshiny and bright and then after lunch the WHOLE basin of the canyon was filled with clouds. It was seriously breathtaking. I love this PLANET!

I was giving Ellie a lesson in crossing your eyes. I think she caught my freckles. 

Please notice item b. In my grammar book at school. NOT KIDDING.

By the way, a long tailed tit is a bird. Who knew. 

This is Ellie deeply engrossed in Piano Practice. WHERE did the harmonica come from. YEESH. 

Sometimes I am a BTE

My weekends are VERY exciting. FACE BOMB!

I am sorry but this is just ADORABLE. Notice the extra little picture of Feral Cat. This guy is getting extra credit for sure! 

Now for your reading pleasure, this right here is one of the reasons I teach school. I think kids are just amazing. I had to do a dictation test so I made up a sentence that went like this; When I grow up I want to be a ___________________. I can be proactive and reach my goal by___________________________________________________. Here are some of the responses that tickled me pink. 

 When I grow up I want to be a NASCAR driver. I can be proactive and reach my goal by helping my Mom.

When I grow up I want to be a Casino owner. I can be proactive and reach my goal by doing my homework. 

Cholledge is a good place to go to school. (Seriously so cute)

When I grow up I want to be a Scientist I can be proactive and reach my goal by being good. 

When I grow up I want to be a Dance Teacher. I can be proactive and reach my goal by helping my family around the house. 

When I grow up I want to be an Artist. I can be proactive and reach my goal by helping around the house. 

You know, I think these parents must be on to something. I am going to start telling Aydan he will NEVER be a lawyer if he doesn't start helping around the house and being good. 

I am not sure how THIS picture came to be on the back of a Spelling test but I just couldn't help adding R2D2. 

On a serious note, thank you to all of you who have reached out in response to my experience of being bullied. I am in awe of some of your stories of being bullied that have been shared with me and I thank you so much for sharing them. I am grateful for you. We are not alone. We can each do our job to help change this world into a better one. One person, one kind act at a time. I was talking to my friend the other day and we discussed how we just couldn't understand how people can be so mean. It is such a waste of energy and time. Isn't it so much better to just be nice? I think it is. Plus, doesn't it FEEL better? I KNOW it does! 

All you need is LOVE. 

XOXO-The Sunny D